Raena Boston, Founder of the Chamber of Mothers and The Momtras, joined us to share her three birth experiences and the makings of motherhood. Raena's first pregnancy lead her down a new path for her family by choosing a birth center instead of a hospital. Her provider was off-putting and the idea of shifting to different providers within the practice helped her make the decision.

The birth center experience with Baby Aksel was beautiful. She arrived at the birth center at 4 cm dilated after a night of laboring at home. Her husband, Travis, and their doula were supportive and helped her manage labor and delivery.

Their second pregnancy would be a "happy accident" 10 months after their first son was born. They chose to work with the birth center again. Baby Asher came a little over a week passed his estimated due date. True to form Raena arrived at the birth center 6cm dilated with the understanding of her body's needs helping direct her labor.

2021 would usher in another "happy accident" after they chose each other and worked on their relationship. This pregnancy and birth would be during the pandemic. They wanted to use the birth center again. During a 38-week appointment, Raena was handed a packet for her appointment and a slip of paper fell out that read "BMI-out of bounds". She was instantly triggered by this and started to feel agitated. She then had a high blood pressure reading that led to a conversation that would make a major shift in her pregnancy. Raena's blood pressure continued to get higher as the days passed. She and Travis had started conversing about switching to a homebirth with another midwife. Her blood pressure reached 174/106; they planned to go to the hospital.

Transitioning their birth plan was mentally challenging but after getting settled into the idea that she would stay at the hospital. Raena was able to maintain a decent BP without continuous high readings. They started an induction when Raena was ready, as she wanted a different doctor on call. The staff at the hospital was mindful that the hospital was not her first choice and worked with her through her options. The environment wasn't ideal; she pushed through her expectations. The intensity was high and the doctor wanted to break her water. She felt unheard and over-talked during labor. Raena pushed their baby out, and Travis announced the sex. They were on a high as they acknowledged that they had survived a challenging season in marriage and were proud of themselves as a couple.

A few years have passed since we last heard from Dasia. She shared her first birth story which included a home birth transfer to the hospital where she endured birth trauma.

This second pregnancy was unexpected but welcome. Her threshold of knowledge had shifted not just within birth work but what she knew about herself after becoming a mother for the first time. In retrospect, she acknowledges that she wanted to repair the issues of her first traumatic birth and didn’t allow herself to sit in the joy and miracle of the second birth. She dove head first, determined to create a birth dream team and the home birth of her desires. She found a doula and midwife that aligned with her needs. The desire to prepare her body for labor and commit to her care was strengthened by weekly commitments to a chiropractor, massage therapist, and float therapy. When asked if she sought mental health therapy during this pregnancy Dasia took us through a moment of self-reflection. She remembers researching therapists and never pushing forward. There is resistance to seeing one’s self as deserving and not minimizing hardships about other difficult times. Her husband and best friend, Juvante, was working out of town for the majority of the pregnancy. His physical absence was the removal of her sounding board and being seen. This was an emotional strain but she still felt mentally sound, which made it feel less pressing to address. The idea of invalidating our own experiences is sitting with her and is allowing her to pause in the now. Unpacking this birth was two-fold as Dasia prepared for survival and maintained her plan to birth in a safe space.

Dasia’s labor started during her braiding appointment. Although she thought they were Braxton-Hicks her stylist sped up the process. Dasia consulted with her doula and midwife and they told her things would come as they were supposed to. She spent the rest of her day with her family as the contractions continued. The frequency and intensity of the contractions increased. She kept denying the labor but gave herself space to eat and rest. She finally informed the birth team how the day was going. She experienced a sharp pain through each contraction. She wasn’t concerned but wanted to relieve it. Dasia came into acceptance of labor as she tried to take a warm bath that did not slow things down at all. There was a fear of losing stamina that stemmed from the first birth that pushed her to rest. The midwife arrived around 2:00 am and peacefully joined the space. Her husband stepped in as her doula as he was ever-present and supporting her needs. Squatting through her contractions while her husband held her felt deeply vulnerable. She could feel the shifts in engagement and transition proved mentally challenging as she was processing that her home birth was happening. Instincts kicked in and her body made the shifts needed to plant her feet in the present. Her husband told her he can see the baby’s hair and they welcomed their second baby girl shortly afterward.