MyLin and Lindsay started their lives together after marriage with the hopes of expansion. When they decided to have more children, they were not fully aware of the obstacles they would encounter. The sticker shock regarding Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) expense steered them towards traditional or old-school insemination with a known donor. Patience over almost two years and a devastating anembryonic pregnancy would lead them to the full-term pregnancy and consequent birth of their first child together.

Lindsay chose to carry the baby, and they managed their insemination personally with advice from a fertility specialist. The fertility specialist validated their concerns and guided them through the most straightforward ways to help them. Despite having PCOS, she could make adjustments in their fertility journey and conceive. Her pregnancy was amazing, and there were no issues until the end of the pregnancy. She presented with itchy hands and feet, which was one indicator of Cholestasis. Cholestasis can affect the liver and can be dangerous for mom and baby. An induction was ordered at 37 weeks to avoid complications to their health and after two days of labor, Lennox would join the family. Shortly afterward, Lindsay developed preeclampsia and would need additional monitoring.

Postpartum for Lindsay included healing and challenges with breastfeeding. Thankfully, MyLin had started the induced lactating process prenatally with the hopes of sharing the work of feeding the baby. She was able to nourish the baby while Lindsay worked through latching issues with Baby Lennox.

MyLin’s pregnancy required more preparation as she wanted to deliver at home. They were able to have all of the birth-related services to make her dream homebirth come true with the generous support of the Victoria Project, a nonprofit organization serving Southern California. The Victoria Project provided full financial support for a midwife (not the deposit), chiropractor, pelvic floor therapy, hypnobirthing, and childbirth education.

MyLin labored with her family and doula as they awaited the intensity of active labor. Lindsay busied herself preparing the tub for her but found her work was futile. MyLin found herself in “labor land” and talked her baby out as he quickly slipped out. The midwife would arrive later and attend to the newly expanded family. She had four postpartum midwifery visits and was able to spend a lot of time in bed, healing physically and mentally.

Finding the right avenues to expand their family was pivotal in their birthing experiences. MyLin and Lindsay share their knowledge with other same-sex couples to make themselves an accessible resource. Patience, grace, and softness are essential aspects of their continued parenting journey.

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