Intentional family planning set up Deborah Woodson and her husband, Mike, for an empowering journey. Watching documentaries and reading articles about birth and, specifically, Black birth experiences helped bring the two of them in step with home birth planning.
Early morning bathroom trips hinted that early labor would start soon. However, after some nausea and a walk, the body shifts calmed down. Deborah’s mom was there and shared that she believed labor would start that day as she managed her stomach pains. Her mom was right, Deborah would lose her mucus plug that night, and intense contractions began. Her midwife advised that she rest and to contact her when things picked up. Deborah fell into labor land and frequently retreated within herself. Their baby girl arrived before the midwife. However, her husband, mother, and sister were present in the home. Shock kept her frozen as she waited for her midwife’s care. Mike held their daughter, sobbing with joy.
Deborah’s key takeaway from her first birth was learning that she could rely on her body. She became more aware of the intricacies of her body and how it changed. She felt good physically in the immediate postpartum period.
Less than two years after their daughter's birth, their family expanded again. Deborah struggled with the concept of expansive love for multiple children. The pregnancy was uneventful and without physical challenges. Deborah's hyperawareness about her body helped her know that her baby had shifted to a breech position. Her midwife helped her flip the baby through skillful maneuvering. Labor was a lot more painful as they discovered during the pushing phase he was malpositioned in LOT (Left Occiput Transverse). Once he was delivered, her baby was calm; the family bonded comfortably in their home.
Her second birth has helped her release the need to control and embrace flexibility. Parenting two young children comes with the need for patience and understanding of their individual needs.
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Yoga Instructor and traveling Occupational Therapist, Kelly Barnes shared her quicker than expected homebirth at 37 weeks. An experience she describes as "challenging, overwhelming, and rewarding all at the same time." Her expectations regarding when and how she would give birth were dismantled but the result was pure magic.
Kelly maintained an active lifestyle which included yoga and running throughout her pregnancy. Dual care with a certified homebirth midwife and OB. Envisioning a water birth was a focal point for Kelly as she embarked on her pregnancy. As a contingency, she enlisted dual care with a licensed professional midwife for the homebirth and an obstetrician to cover in case she needed to transfer from home.
Building up to her maternity leave, she loaded up on work to fully fund her maternity leave. As the nesting phase started to kick in she started to show signs of early labor. This sudden change caught Kelly off guard, and she wasn’t mentally or physically prepared for the baby to arrive. Her husband enlisted her sister to help her reconnect in mind and body to settle into the reality that she didn’t have weeks to prepare. Labor progressed as her husband scrambled to complete the homebirth checklist, thankfully, their doula was present to support her. The atmosphere shifted as her team slowly made their way to the home and set up the environment. Kelly managed labor with what was familiar to her, movement. She would live out her vision as she pushed her baby out.
Birth and motherhood are teaching Kelly that research is key, aligning with your care provider, and making informed choices.
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Oona-Ife and Anthony were hosting friends at their home when they decided she should take a pregnancy test. She took the test because she had spent the night throwing up after a night of eating steak and butter pecan ice cream. They learned they were expecting a baby, and the news brought so much joy that they had to stifle their excitement from their guests. Anthony even snuck out of the house to shed a few tears as their lives were about to change in this season of expansion.
Despite a rocky start, Oona felt an abundance of self-love and support from her village, which left her with positive reflections regarding her pregnancy. Anthony made space during their journey to learn about what to expect during childbirth and was able to connect with other new and expectant fathers for support. He was intentional about his presence for prenatal visits and building relationships with their care providers.
Labor would gradually commence after a violent bout of nausea and vomiting one evening. Oona-Ife and Anthony would fumble around trying out some tried and true labor strategies that would end in a good laugh and an A for effort. Because they were having a homebirth they were in close contact with their doula and midwifery team about changes in contraction patterns, behaviors, and any concerns they had. As things picked up, their doula would arrive first to assess the scene and encourage them to call the midwife to the house. Laboring and birthing at home proved to be their best decision as it fostered comfort and ease that kept them calm. Despite some hiccups with their tub and a moment of familiar panic for those who needed to relocate during the transition, Oona-Ife would deliver their daughter safely in the water.
The midwives and doula would leave them to bond and care for their new baby and themselves. They would receive a caravan of support with family members arriving at different intervals to visit and provide care over the first month postpartum. Just as they started to get a rhythm at about eight days postpartum Oona-Ife would have severe headaches; she grew concerned regarding her own health. She would eventually go to the hospital for care after connecting with her midwife as her blood pressure elevated to dangerous levels. She would be diagnosed with Postpartum Preeclampsia and Covid-19. Thankfully, she centered her care and was able to heal with continued support from her family and providers.
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MyLin and Lindsay started their lives together after marriage with the hopes of expansion. When they decided to have more children, they were not fully aware of the obstacles they would encounter. The sticker shock regarding Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) expense steered them towards traditional or old-school insemination with a known donor. Patience over almost two years and a devastating anembryonic pregnancy would lead them to the full-term pregnancy and consequent birth of their first child together.
Lindsay chose to carry the baby, and they managed their insemination personally with advice from a fertility specialist. The fertility specialist validated their concerns and guided them through the most straightforward ways to help them. Despite having PCOS, she could make adjustments in their fertility journey and conceive. Her pregnancy was amazing, and there were no issues until the end of the pregnancy. She presented with itchy hands and feet, which was one indicator of Cholestasis. Cholestasis can affect the liver and can be dangerous for mom and baby. An induction was ordered at 37 weeks to avoid complications to their health and after two days of labor, Lennox would join the family. Shortly afterward, Lindsay developed preeclampsia and would need additional monitoring.
Postpartum for Lindsay included healing and challenges with breastfeeding. Thankfully, MyLin had started the induced lactating process prenatally with the hopes of sharing the work of feeding the baby. She was able to nourish the baby while Lindsay worked through latching issues with Baby Lennox.
MyLin’s pregnancy required more preparation as she wanted to deliver at home. They were able to have all of the birth-related services to make her dream homebirth come true with the generous support of the Victoria Project, a nonprofit organization serving Southern California. The Victoria Project provided full financial support for a midwife (not the deposit), chiropractor, pelvic floor therapy, hypnobirthing, and childbirth education.
MyLin labored with her family and doula as they awaited the intensity of active labor. Lindsay busied herself preparing the tub for her but found her work was futile. MyLin found herself in “labor land” and talked her baby out as he quickly slipped out. The midwife would arrive later and attend to the newly expanded family. She had four postpartum midwifery visits and was able to spend a lot of time in bed, healing physically and mentally.
Finding the right avenues to expand their family was pivotal in their birthing experiences. MyLin and Lindsay share their knowledge with other same-sex couples to make themselves an accessible resource. Patience, grace, and softness are essential aspects of their continued parenting journey.
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Visualization is a powerful tool, especially for preparing for labor; it can turn our hopes into expectations. Much was the case for Danielle Henderson as she and her husband, Jeff, began preparing for a home birth for their first child.
Danielle created the environment she had envisioned by having calming music and lighting during her labor. The midwife arrived and was deeply committed to being present and supporting Danielle. She even had the support of her mother and sister as planned. Delivery drew out longer than they thought, and there was a family history of short or precipitous labors. However, a tilted uterus would make her work feel more intense and give the feeling that she had progressed. Her mother and sister would eventually leave as time went on. During labor, Danielle found herself coming out of her calmness and felt that hindered her progression. The next day Shandell returned to the porch awaiting the baby’s arrival. Little did she know that she would be entering the birth space. Jeff would ask her to come into the home and support the team. Shandell recalls knowing how vulnerable her sister would feel, and she cautiously stepped in and avoided looking at her to help her maintain her mindset and not face her disappointment. In a word, she held a boundary for her sister while also holding space. Despite having a nuchal arm and double wrapped umbilical cord impeding his descent, Baby Jackson would make a healthy entrance earthside in his parents’ bed.
After her birth, Danielle could feel herself detaching from the experience as she would continue to live where she had delivered her baby. Connecting memories with spaces were hard on her mentally. The newness of motherhood was an adjustment, with full support from her family, and her husband has helped with the adjustment of new motherhood.
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Ashlee Johnson's passion for birthwork grew from her first pregnancy and childbirth. She would bring forth life three times with a dedicated birth team. She welcomed being pregnant and can recall the first pregnancy as an enjoyable time despite hearing so many negative stories that people felt compelled to share with her. It would be a chance encounter, during her first pregnancy, with one woman that listened to her birth preferences and encouraged her to go for it. She let that affirmation set within her and committed to honoring her own plans.
This foundation would serve her throughout the births of her other two children. Ashlee and her husband prepared by attending birth classes and feeling fully supported in a birth center and homebirth care. She describes her births as amazing because she felt educated, had a positive attitude, and had a birth team that met her expectations. In the early postpartum days, breastfeeding was challenging due to latch issues. Yet, Having set up a solid support system, she overcame the learning curves, focused on her healing, and addressed her postpartum depression. For Ashlee, preparation is vital, expressing that no matter if birth plans shift, if you've prepared, you're in a better position to steer things your way.
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Alicia Tetteh joins us for a second time after sharing her twin birth with us in Episode 57: The Body Holds the Score. Alicia and her husband, Solomon, discovered they were expecting their third child during the pandemic shutdown of 2020. Luna was a surprise for them but came with a new and experienced version of Alicia.
Alicia started with a previous hospital for care but added midwifery support as she considered birthing at home. After garnering support from Solomon, she began planning an intentional homebirth with a Black midwife for the pregnancy. Despite finding a Black midwife, she had difficulty finding Black birthers who had experienced a homebirth to offer additional support. They worked towards preparation for the birth by reading and leaning into the midwife to answer her questions.
Alicia admits that there were some unrealistic expectations about laboring at home that didn’t match the visuals in her mind or on social media. Labor started after a family walk through a petting zoo. When they arrived home, Alicia found herself unable to relax and move through the pain of the contractions. Her choices regarding food, music, and creating her environment ranked high on what she was thankful for. She contributes Solomon and Jesus for her ability to deliver their baby girl at home without medication. Her previous twin birth was a surgical delivery, and she had been numbed through the physical feelings of delivery.
Preparation for birth was high on the list; however, postpartum planning took a backseat. Alicia found herself unprepared, despite the memories of her twin birth recovery. The physicality of birth was heavy on Alicia’s body. There was support from family, friends, and their doula in the first couple of weeks. After the first month, sleep routines and managing twin toddlers took over their world. Solomon and Alicia have managed their “new normal” with teamwork and genuine co-parenting. Alicia wants moms to maintain their sense of self and have an identity outside of motherhood that helps them experience the joys of life.
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We first met Alyestal Thomas when she shared her first birth story with us (Ep. 19 |The Power Within) and were delighted when she reached out to share her second. This pregnancy would bring both mental and physical challenges for Alyestal to navigate. Her anemia had brought on intense exhaustion that would require continuous monitoring throughout her pregnancy. And while at times she would feel she had strong management of that, her mental health suffered quite a bit. Her prenatal anxiety was rising, with panic attacks about 4 to 5 times a week. She knew to be in a space to birth her baby the way she wanted to; she had to confront this challenge and be honest about it. So when she connected with her midwives, she was open with them about how she was feeling about her pregnancy. They were able to connect her with a therapist to unpack her feelings and fear. Therapy affirmed the challenges of being pregnant during a pandemic paired with not always having her husband present when she needed his support and advocacy. And that she was allowed the space to grieve missing and losing expectations that she had for this pregnancy.
With her first birth, Alyestal experienced a TV-worthy breaking of her waters. A concern she had this time around is that this wouldn't be the case, and she wouldn't know when she was in labor. However, a week before her daughter was due; she had another TV-worthy breaking of her waters. COntractions were a bit inconsistent, but she reached out to her midwives to keep them informed. As labor progressed, she and her midwives decided their arrival would be best. When they arrived at 1:30 am, they did a cervical check, and Alyestal was 2cm dilated. After some discussion about the next steps, she consented to a stretch and sweep. Her midwives left and instructed her to call when she felt they were needed again. That call came at 2:30 am with the midwives arriving at 3 am - and Alyestal soon after meeting her daughter 4 mins to 5 am. When describing her birth, Alyestal expresses that "birth was everything that didn't know she wanted it to be and birth was everything she wanted it to be." Feelings that she wishes for every birthing individual to feel - a sense of comfort and ease.
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Before the pregnancy of her son, Annette Perel had been a doula for about four years. Considering her experience from supporting other families, she was set on the plans for her birth and what she needed to do to prepare. Key aspects of that preparation included hiring a doula and midwife for her home birth, learning to become assertive in her communication to advocate for herself, and soaking in the joy of her pregnancy.
Not able to turn her doula hat off, Annette was sure that her son would be coming past his estimated due date. Thanksgiving evening, she was surprised as she began noticing some early signs of labor but pushed them off as she could move through contractions with ease. That night she was even able to sleep through them. Over the next two days, she would fall into a rhythm of working through manageable contractions throughout the day that would subside in the evening and morning. Annette and her son's father took that time to complete the last preparation before his arrival.
Moving into day three, labor would begin to shift and become more intense, Annette needing to lean into the support of her son's father and doula. Staying present in her birth was very important for her - an anchor that allowed her to connect with her baby and body, serving as a technique for managing labor and allowing her to trust herself. This would be vital as Annette delivered her baby into her own hands with the support of her doula and midwife, who was providing guidance via phone (as she was still making her way to Annette). A moment she describes as feeling "guided, protected, safe and exactly how that labor was supposed to happen."
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Leslie had started preparing for parenthood by learning as much as she could and discovered many pathways for birth, parenting, and creating a home environment that would be different from her own life experience. She had learned about homebirth in college and kept the knowledge in her mind until she and her husband, Carvens, were expecting their own child. They hired Caryn as additional support but found that she would be there for unexpected aspects of pregnancy. She found herself vulnerable and needing reassurance as she managed pregnancy during a pandemic and racial unrest in our country.
Leslie sought grounding and joy through the uncertainties of the environment. When her labor ensued, she committed to her affirmations, breathing, and leaning into her support. Learning to surrender to that space and moment allowed her to power through. And birth her baby into her arms. Leslie refers to her birth experience as a “posture of gratitude.”
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Jocelyne, a homebirth parent, and co-creator of Homebirth.com, shared her story and the origins of those unexpected titles. Jocelyne and her partner had been planning their wedding when they discovered they were expecting. They made a pivot and married ahead of schedule. The next obstacle was finding alignment with a provider that would honor their wishes became the most challenging aspect of the pregnancy. They switched providers from an OB/GYN to a birth center with midwifery care. The stars seemed to align, but an unexpected closing once again thwarted their plans. Three months before her expected due date, the birthing center she and her husband had planned to welcome their baby closed. Homebirth became an option that was strange to them and required a mental adjustment to help keep them out of the hospital. Hospital birth felt like pregnancy was a medical issue, and that didn’t match their thought process unless a medical challenge presented during the birth. They quickly researched their options and connected with midwives they trusted. Their family was able to prepare for and have the birth they envisioned in their own home.
Homebirth.com was created in their response to wanting to share the beauty and joy of their homebirth story. Homebirth.com holds space for story sharing and helps others who wish to Homebirth find the birth teams that can help meet their birthing goals.
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Being a maternity nurse, Courtney knew the lack of focus on preparing for the fourth trimester. For her, a vital part of preparation when pregnant was anchoring into how she would support her healing and bonding during that time. This encompassed building a full birth team - a midwife aligned with her vision, a lactation consultant, a pelvic floor therapist, and ensuring her husband was empowered as well.
When early labor began at 38 weeks for Courtney's first birth, she spent most of that time in the sense of denial. As she moved about her day, her body and baby showed signs that his arrival would be soon. It took encouragement from her husband and midwife to help shift her mindset that the time had come. As she was having a homebirth, Courtney moved about her home and different positions to help with progression. It was a pivotal moment for her to feel her son engage in her pelvis, prompting her to have her husband get her birth pool ready and have her midwife join them. Being able to lean into her husband for support and having space to trust her body entirely, they welcomed their son soon after.
When she found herself experiencing the signs of labor again 16 months after her son's birth, the sense of familiarity with her body's response was strong. This progression was much faster, a surprise to Courtney, when she began pushing her "body, grabbed onto the energy," and her daughter began making her way.
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