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144 | Letting Go of Expectations - Danielle Henderson & Shandell Rosa

Visualization is a powerful tool, especially for preparing for labor; it can turn our hopes into expectations. Much was the case for Danielle Henderson as she and her husband, Jeff, began preparing for a home birth for their first child.

Danielle created the environment she had envisioned by having calming music and lighting during her labor. The midwife arrived and was deeply committed to being present and supporting Danielle. She even had the support of her mother and sister as planned. Delivery drew out longer than they thought, and there was a family history of short or precipitous labors. However, a tilted uterus would make her work feel more intense and give the feeling that she had progressed. Her mother and sister would eventually leave as time went on. During labor, Danielle found herself coming out of her calmness and felt that hindered her progression. The next day Shandell returned to the porch awaiting the baby’s arrival. Little did she know that she would be entering the birth space. Jeff would ask her to come into the home and support the team. Shandell recalls knowing how vulnerable her sister would feel, and she cautiously stepped in and avoided looking at her to help her maintain her mindset and not face her disappointment. In a word, she held a boundary for her sister while also holding space. Despite having a nuchal arm and double wrapped umbilical cord impeding his descent, Baby Jackson would make a healthy entrance earthside in his parents’ bed.

After her birth, Danielle could feel herself detaching from the experience as she would continue to live where she had delivered her baby. Connecting memories with spaces were hard on her mentally. The newness of motherhood was an adjustment, with full support from her family, and her husband has helped with the adjustment of new motherhood.

COVID-19, Home Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierApril 28, 2022Hypnobirth, Home Birth Family, Village Support, Partner Support, Long LaborComment

140 | Reclamation - Jennifer Walton

“It’s not the baby. It’s you.” These are the words that Jennifer Walton would hear from her medical provider as he determined with a quick cervical check that she would need to deliver her baby via surgical birth. In fact, he later told her that she would never be able to deliver vaginally because a baby couldn’t fit through her pelvis. Jennifer didn’t want a c-section and made that clear to her provider. But the cascade of interventions and the lack of informed consent would send them into a spiral that left little room to catch up mentally to what was about to happen to Jennifer physically. There had been no complications or concerns, but a lull in labor would drastically alter Jennifer and her husband, Sean’s plans. Their first baby would be born healthy and strong, but the surgical birth trauma would linger into their postpartum world.

The Walton’s welcomed their second pregnancy with a young toddler to care for. Jennifer was determined that this birth would be different. The first pregnancy had been easy, and they had the rug pulled from under them in the twilight hours of labor. Jennifer was different; she had been fire tested and was prepared to put in the work to change the narrative that had been created about her body. The weight of her previous provider’s words was pressed into her psyche. She knew that she wanted a VBAC and stacked the deck to support her goal. Jennifer selected a new OB/GYN; she was a Black woman and made her feel supported and heard. Her friend introduced her to the term doula, and where she could find one, She connected with her perinatal support doula, Jessica Roach, at Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. The heart of their work is the commitment and rigorous training of their perinatal support doulas. Jessica educated her about her rights as a patient, guided her family through a healthy pregnancy, and helped strengthen their resolve for Jennifer to deliver their baby vaginally.

The fear of a uterine rupture would still linger in her mind, but with the support of her birth team, she moved forward with planning her VBAC. Jennifer recalled Jessica’s words in the midst of laboring at home, “Stop fighting your body and let this thing happen.” She did stop fighting her body. She let go of the defeating messages from her first pregnancy, surrendered to the process, and found her voice and strength. She gave birth to another healthy and strong daughter, accomplishing her VBAC.

117 | Staying Present - Annette Perel

Before the pregnancy of her son, Annette Perel had been a doula for about four years. Considering her experience from supporting other families, she was set on the plans for her birth and what she needed to do to prepare. Key aspects of that preparation included hiring a doula and midwife for her home birth, learning to become assertive in her communication to advocate for herself, and soaking in the joy of her pregnancy.

Not able to turn her doula hat off, Annette was sure that her son would be coming past his estimated due date. Thanksgiving evening, she was surprised as she began noticing some early signs of labor but pushed them off as she could move through contractions with ease. That night she was even able to sleep through them. Over the next two days, she would fall into a rhythm of working through manageable contractions throughout the day that would subside in the evening and morning. Annette and her son's father took that time to complete the last preparation before his arrival.

Moving into day three, labor would begin to shift and become more intense, Annette needing to lean into the support of her son's father and doula. Staying present in her birth was very important for her - an anchor that allowed her to connect with her baby and body, serving as a technique for managing labor and allowing her to trust herself. This would be vital as Annette delivered her baby into her own hands with the support of her doula and midwife, who was providing guidance via phone (as she was still making her way to Annette). A moment she describes as feeling "guided, protected, safe and exactly how that labor was supposed to happen."

Home Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierAugust 3, 2021Black Doulas, Doula Support, Home Birth Family, Village Support, Trust BirthComment

110 | The Sacred Bodies - Katya Suh

Katya Suh and her husband, Ndamunkong Suh felt uneasy in the early weeks of her pregnancy as she had early spotting that would significantly reduce physical activity. This proved challenging for Katya, a former collegiate basketball player, as she was accustomed to living an active lifestyle. The spotting was anxiety-producing, and she grew concerned about her ability to carry her pregnancy to term, especially since they were expecting twins. Katya described her prenatal care as excellent as she felt respected and heard during her prenatal visits. The spotting eventually subsided, but she needed to continue maintaining low physical activity. She felt fully supported by her husband during the whole pregnancy but especially in the first trimester. He assured her that "they" were good no matter what the outcome was. Katya viewed the third trimester as "crazy" as her husband and his team won the Super Bowl, moved into their new home, and began to prepare that space for the babies.

At 38 weeks, Katya consented to a scheduled induction. She was able to have both her husband and her mother present for the births, despite having been unsure if her mom would be allowed to attend due to the hospital's restrictions during the pandemic. Labor was intense, and she chose an epidural for additional comfort. Part of their birth plan was for Ndamunkong to stay with the babies if there were any issues. The first baby, Kingston, was healthy, and there were no complications for him. However, their second baby, Khari, had fluid in his lungs and needed additional medical support with a CPAP. Katya's husband went with Khari to be present during his treatment. After her deliveries, Katya experienced a postpartum hemorrhage - which resulted in her needing to receive two blood transfusions, and she has had a healthy recovery.

Katya has intentionally expressed her needs and emotions with her family and friends as she is still in the fourth trimester. She has learned to lean in for support and credits her village for how they are managing newborn twins — embracing her evolution in becoming a mother, both mentally and physically.

80 | The Moment of Surrender - Marissa Msefya

Hiring a doula is the part of Marissa's journey that set in motion building her dream birth team. Speaking with her doula and getting educated about her birth options, she would switch from her OBGYN to a midwife at eight months of her pregnancy. After discovering alarming rates for surgical births and episiotomies, she knew switching to midwifery care was more aligned with her and her husband's birth plan.

Marissa attributes her birth team for really guiding her in the moments when she thought she couldn't do it. Her doula and husband continuously reminded her of her strength, and her midwife was talking her through her options. Whenever there might be a shift from her birth plan, she always made sure to check back in with Marissa and her husband about what they wanted to do. With that support, eight hours after arriving at the hospital, Marrissa and her husband met their daughter.

In postpartum, their community support would be just as vital as their birth team. Navigating the newborn parenting fog, Marissa relied heavily on the check-ins, meal drop-offs, and any other filled request. And as things arose with breastfeeding, her doula, birth coach, and lactation consultant were always there with advice. Marissa is grateful to have a community to lean on and in every step of the way.

Hospital BirthLaurel GourrierDecember 1, 2020Doula of Color, Family Centered Care, Postpartum Support, Village SupportComment

73 | Reclaiming Birth to Heal - Taylor Huntley

Community Herbalist and Doula Taylor Huntley shared her two birth experiences that inspired her work and mission. Her provider started discussing induction at 37 weeks, and Taylor found herself agreeing after some bullying. An ominous voicemail from her provider after the cancellation of her induction led Taylor to fire her provider at term. She found a midwife to continue her prenatal care and refer her to a hospital with on-call CNMs. The stars aligned as Taylor arrived at the hospital at 42 weeks and was able to have the preferred midwife catch her baby. Taylor was thankful that she hired a doula to support her pregnancy and labor as she continued to have push back about her birth plan from the nurses at the hospital.

Taylor gathered herself and all of her knowledge as she embarked on her second pregnancy. She knew what she wanted and how to get it. A Black midwife supported this pregnancy, and it was a planned homebirth. Taylor didn’t have the support from her parents regarding homebirth, but she pushed forward because it was her desire. Their concerns were based on their personal health experiences. She successfully labor at home and delivered in her home with her partner and birth team.

Taylor found healing in her homebirth experience after having challenges in her first pregnancy. Her voice was heard and honored. Taylor’s births have led her to serve in a space for Black women through birthwork.

Hospital Birth, Home BirthLaurel GourrierOctober 27, 2020Black Doulas, Village Support, Generational Healing, Black MotherhoodComment

59 | On Babies Time - Milan Sanders

Milan's pregnancy started during her last semester of college, which was a busy season of her life. She fearfully shared her news with her mother and was surprised that her mother was supportive, and it became an opportunity for them to bond. Her mother wanted to be present every step of the way, and it was in this space that her mother held space for her to make a significant decision within motherhood.

She prepared for birth with her partner by attending a childbirth education class, which they found helpful. She set in her mind to have an unmedicated birth after learning of the potential effects on her baby. When Milan finally went into labor, she contacted Labor & Delivery when her contractions/surges were 3-1-1 (3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for an hour). The nurse didn’t believe she was in labor and told her to stay home. She waited a few hours and went to the hospital when she could no longer speak during contractions/surges. When she arrived, she had not dilated, the doctor gave her morphine without her consent and sent her home. When she arrived back home, things shifted so quickly that an unplanned home birth became imminent. Milan’s experience is not unique as some women dilate quickly, and even more common is a provider not performing a proper cervical check. She spoke up and advocated for herself but still had challenges being heard. Milan encourages women to continue to speak up for themselves.

45 | A Blessing Amidst Covid-19 - Karabo Rankapole

Karabo joins us from South Africa to share her story of courage amid a changing world. She gave birth on April 6th, 2020, during the COVID-19 restrictions, which changed their birth plan so abruptly and drastically that it would alter all of her best-made plans.

When Karabo arrived at the hospital with her parents and awaiting her partner’s arrival. The door attendants simply stated, “This is where your journey ends, and hers begins.” They took her bags into the hospital, and while in labor, she separated from her loved ones to take on the task of giving birth to strangers in an unfamiliar space. She would later learn that her partner would be able to visit for one hour per day, but the visitation time would conflict with his work hours and the city’s newly implemented curfew to help reduce COVID-19 exposure. Every step further, she took into the hospital required a shift in her mind and spirit. She would come out of her labor delivery as a new being with tremendous strength, and her postpartum recovery continued to bring about change.

43 | Saul's Light - Kimberly Novod

This is a story about loss - In memory of Saul

With no early indication, in 2014, Kimberly and Aaron Novod's son, Saul, was born prematurely at twenty-eight weeks and six days. He was whisked to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Initially, they thought he was going to do well and would be bringing their baby home. Yet, baby Saul passed after twenty days in the NICU due to a brain bleed. As a way to process through their grief and work on healing, Kimberly and her husband Aaron created Saul's Light. During their time of need, their community surrounded them in love and support, which was an integral part of their healing process. Thus, making it their mission to provide the same outpouring to all NICU and bereaved families. A vital part of the support provided to families is through mobilizing people, organizations, and resources directly from their community.

In the sharing of her birth story, Kimberly makes it clear and points that we cannot ignore the disparities that black and brown babies are overrepresented in the NICU and the graveyard. When parents are present for their babies and present in their care, they have better outcomes. Saul's Light allows for families to have that, responsive to the whole experience of NICU and also addressing infant mortality. It is a communal embrace, reminding families that their community cares about them, and they're not alone!

41 | Inner Strength - Kayla Lucas

Kayla Lucas shared her experiences with both of her sons, being diagnosed with hyperemesis, which made pregnancy physically challenging as she worked to stay healthy and maintain good nutrition and having un-planned inductions. While neither experience was what she expected, she describes them as helping her dig within herself to find a voice to advocate for herself, her strength and determination. Aspects she hopes to encourage others to use in their own birthing experiences.

Postpartum depression would mire her experience as a mother in the months after her birth. She sought support through therapy and was able to come out of it after becoming pregnant again. Kayla's grandmother helped her by acknowledging what her granddaughter was going through. She opened her home to her for respite during the day and watched her son during therapy sessions. Her family gave her time, space, and resources for a time to herself to help relieve anxiety. Kayla wants women to connect with themselves to build self-trust before pregnancy to help them be self-advocates in their care. Find your voice, speak up, and be heard.

38 & 39 | Reimagining the Village - Tayo Mbande & Toni Taylor

The saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child" - hearing Tayo and her mother share Tayo's birth experience not only affirms this but reveals it takes a village to birth a mother.

Tayo knew for her third pregnancy and birth; she was going to need to facilitate her experience with intense intention. From her previous births, birthing at a hospital was not an option, so with the support of her mother and husband, she prepared to have a family homebirth, absent of a midwife. Yet, this pregnancy was opposite from her others, and there was a point where she thought her homebirth wouldn't come to fruition. Tayo relied heavily on her mother for support throughout her earlier births. This time around, her mother pushed for Tayo and her husband to create a stronger bond they could depend on and believe in each other as a support unit.

Reimagining her village, she let herself to be fully loved and cared for, throughout the pregnancy, her birth, and at the beginning of her postpartum and still currently. Everyone showing up for her makes her show up for herself.

Tayo and Toni have a beautiful bond; they have now created a space to support and uplift the families in their community in that same sacred love. The Chicago Birth Collective is the village, a collective of birth workers, healers, and wellness practitioners serving and healing Black families across Chicago.

33 | Full Circle - Danielle & Ray Jackson

After surprising her husband with their third positive pregnancy test, the Jacksons began to prepare for life as a family of five. They both had learned so much about the birth process from their previous pregnancies. She decided to use her skills and resources to take the lead in a pregnancy that surprised her while caring for her own doula clients. Danielle chose to be supported by her fellow doulas of Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) and birth unmedicated with a midwifery team. Ray had a different vantage point as a father of two and having watched Danielle’s growth as a woman. Ray was grateful to have the support of the doula team for prenatal appointments and home visits. Allowing him to relax and know that Danielle was well taken care of, and she was in good health. Fathers often have unspoken concerns. Needless to say, he garnered a whole new perspective for the work his wife does with other families.

Hospital BirthLaurel GourrierOctober 3, 2019Doula of Color, Partner Support, Village Support, Midwife, Unmedicated BirthComment

31 | Breaking Generational Cycles - Brandy Wells MSW, LISW

Brandy shared the pregnancies and births of her three daughters. As you listen, you can connect with the intentionality of the growth she has achieved through her parenthood journey. Her first birth, she wasn't prepared, and it manifested not only how she took care of herself during the pregnancy but also in her birth. Knowing that wasn't what she wanted, with each new experience, she added preparation elements, to ensure she could walk away from her experiences empowered.

It was beautiful to hear how using conscious parenting or as Brandy describes it "teaching lessons while parenting," she is breaking generational traumas and cycles. Her children can see the growth of their parents and echo it in their development and relationships.

A key component of Brandy's growth is how she has engaged her elders — speaking to them about their births and childhood. Using the gift of storytelling to dig deeper into her healing while also creating stronger bonds. She left us with a plethora of tools on navigating how to hold space for ourselves and our families.

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