Posts in Hospital Birth
175 | Learning Lessons Through Trauma - Javana Baptiste
175 | Learning Lessons Through Trauma - Javana Baptiste

Javana’s birth experience taught her some important lessons about self-advocacy and the current structure of maternal health in the United States. The gaps in education about options and the variance in how providers operate through the perinatal process led her down a road of challenges and fear.

Over thirty hours of labor started with mild, irregular contractions and pieces of her mucus plug releasing. Javana experienced irregular labor patterns that kept her home until her water broke. That shifted her mindset to watching the clock and did not feel like she her labor was intense enough to be in active labor. She attended her scheduled doctor's appointment and she was 2 cm dilated. Her doctors advised her to go to the hospital later in the day and suggested mid-afternoon. Arriving at the hospital led Javana down the cascade of interventions that started with an IV against her wishes. Labor started to feel isolating in that she felt alone and unsupported by her nursing team. Eventually, Javana accepted more interventions than she originally intended and an epidural helped her get some rest after being in labor for so long. Her most compassionate caregiver was the anesthesiologist, as he listened to her and talked her through the challenges of placing her epidural. After that the baby had some heart decelerations that concerned the care team. Javana was exhausted by the entire experience and she consented to a surgical birth.

After a challenging birth and hospital experience, Javana chose to honor herself in her motherhood with experiences of joy. She feels prepared to embark on her second birth with more knowledge and understanding of what could be.

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Cesarean Birth, Hospital BirthLaurel GourrierSurgical Birth, Birth Interventions, Birth Plan ShiftsComment
173 | The Journey Pregnancy App - Courtney Williams
173 | The Journey Pregnancy App - Courtney Williams

Our guest, CEO of Emagine Solutions Technology Courtney Williams, is the creator of The Journey Pregnancy App. The app enables patients to vital signs during pregnancy and then transmits this information in real-time and creates a record. Beyond that it issues a call to action for users to contact their providers when they enter vitals that are out of bounds based on ACOG standards. This technology was developed after Courtney experienced Postpartum Preeclampsia, a rare condition that occurs when you have high blood pressure and excess protein in your urine soon after childbirth. She was already working in maternal health technology.

Courtney’s pregnancy started in 2019; she gave birth at the height of the first wave of the pandemic in 2020. The pregnancy started well; she ate right and worked out daily. But the gym access stopped due to the pandemic - unfortunately, this was a major stress reliever for Courtney. She also utilized acupuncture with a naturopathic provider. Eventually, she lost access to that support due to growing concerns due to the pandemic. It had been helpful for morning sickness; this was another hit to her emotional support.

A week before the childbirth, Courtney's son measured big and they were scheduled for a surgical birth; which she was ok with because it eased her uncertainty. Unfortunately, the hospital would not allow her doula to be present. Courtney’s husband was her sole support during the birth and everything went well as they welcomed their son. In the hours and days after the birth, her body started swelling. Courtney presented with a headache and pronounced chest pain five days postpartum. She attempted to contact her provider but did not get a response; she decided to go to the emergency room, where she was diagnosed with Postpartum Preeclampsia. After returning home, she needed to report to her doctor’s office multiple days in a week for blood pressure readings. This brought about challenges in their breastfeeding/pumping journey. Courtney was surprised that there wasn't technology to ease the challenges for new parents to go to frequent appointments during the early phases of postpartum.

We will save ourselves. We have everything we need within ourselves to rebuild birth better. Being active participants in our care, engaging providers who acknowledge and respect our voices, and equipping ourselves with innate knowledge and an understanding of how our unique bodies respond to pregnancy are key components in creating safer, joy-filled birth experiences.

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Hospital Birth, Postpartum, Community Highlights, COVID-19, Cesarean BirthLaurel GourrierBirth Advocacy, Birthing During COVID, Birth Tech, Pregnancy Guide, Postpartum Preeclampsia, Surgical BirthComment
171 | Along the Road to Healing - Stacee & Shawn Shannon
171 | Along the Road to Healing - Stacee & Shawn Shannon

Stacee describes her current state of being as her motherhood era. She has birthed two of their children with her husband, and to look at them now you would have no clue what it took to get here. Conception did not come easy. Childbirth brought its challenges. Postpartum complications nearly ended it all. Stacee and Shawn’s family was forged in the fire. Stacee and her husband, Shawn, held strong to not only each other but to their dream of adding to their family as well.

While Shawn and Stacee’s story details two live births, their first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. A miscarriage that has allowed Stacee to be empathetic of those who have endured similar experiences. She talked about the feelings of isolation and loneliness that is matched with the mystery of miscarriages. The inexplicable loss of a child whose life is not yet deemed viable and the lack of compassion in medical settings as it’s happening.  

Welcoming a new life into the world is a joyous occasion, but the postpartum period can bring about various health complications for mothers. While many women and birthing people experience a smooth recovery after childbirth, it’s essential to be aware of potential challenges and seek timely medical attention when needed.

Excessive bleeding after childbirth, known as postpartum hemorrhage, can be life-threatening. Healthcare providers closely monitor mothers for signs of hemorrhage and may intervene with medications or, in severe cases, surgical procedures to control bleeding. Stacee found herself faced with this after her first birth. Her immediate postpartum journey started with stabilizing her daughter's blood sugar levels which led to the discovery that she had a rare condition that not only needed special treatment but a specific medical team an hour away from where they lived. They took a medical flight, while Stacee was barely able to acknowledge any of her own needs. During that trip, as her daughter was getting the help she needed at a pediatric hospital; Stacee eventually went to the hospital next door for her own care. They discovered that she still had sponges inside of her from her surgical birth and was having a postpartum hemorrhage. 

Pause. Breathe. Sit.

The emotional enormity of a near-miss affects everyone in the family. Stacee is here to share her story. Shawn is here to share his vantage point of their story. Their babies are here to love their mother. Stacee and Shawn’s words carry the weight.

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Cesarean Birth, Hospital Birth, Infertility, NICU, PostpartumLaurel GourrierEmergency Surgical Birth, Postpartum Hemorrhage, Miscarriage Stories Comment
165 | Shades of Blue - Kay Matthews
165 | Shades of Blue - Kay Matthews

This is a story that includes loss - In memory of Troya Simone

Kay’s expectation of pregnancy was to feel joy. Her life was falling into place the way she wanted it to regarding her personal and professional life. She inquired about the effects of her workload and the pregnancy. Her provider said as long as she felt good, she could continue working the way she had been. Despite her provider's reassurance, she decided to start scaling back her work as a chef/entrepreneur. A few weeks later, she started feeling bad while she was at a party. She had a high pain tolerance and found herself pushing through without seeking help, submitting to the strong Black woman persona. The pain continued, and Kay called 911; she woke up in the ICU. Kay lost her baby. She lost the joy in her pregnancy. Her daughter was stillborn. She couldn’t hold her, not because she wasn't allowed but because she didn’t want to; there was a disconnect. Ten years later, she still feels that loss.

Life after the loss was harder than the loss. The words of her friends and family weren’t comforting. The idea of another opportunity to be pregnant again didn’t soothe or heal her. Give it time; tough words that proved to be isolating. The help she needed was hard to explain. She couldn’t articulate what she needed even when people asked her directly. Kay described herself as a broken plate without enough glue to put it back together.

A rebirth at 7-8 months postpartum saved Kay. She could feel herself withering away. The domino effect of infant loss started and shifted her community, the loss of things and people, friendships, and relationships, including her partner. They had to separate and rebuild from scratch after Kay spent some time to herself in deep healing. Journaling her feelings helped her explore her patterns and how to dictate the outcomes of her days. She started asking people about their birth stories, which opened the door for people to talk about their losses, abortions, joy, and pain. Kay saw the mental health needs of birthing people as a new cause to fight and build for. Her life as a chef was winding down as she fulfilled her commitments without the love for the work.

Kay’s passion for Black Maternal Mental Health grew The Shades of Blue Project. Centering the experience of birth and not the outcome is inclusive and not isolating. Social support in the form of diapers, formula, etc. Mental health support for losses of all types, miscarriages, stillbirths, and abortions. Creating safe spaces that are accessible for the people, decreasing barriers to resources, help serve those who need it most. A beautiful boutique designed to empower its clients to be engaged in their own experiences with dignity. What you do for yourself helps you serve others. This year (2023) the Black Maternal Mental Health Week, created and hosted by Kay and The Shades of Blue Project, will continue their I.N.S.P.I.R.E. Method training. The intention is to provide compassionate care methods specifically for women of color and minorities, which doulas can implement, midwives, clinicians, and those facilitating support groups.

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Community Highlights, Hospital Birth, Loss, PostpartumLaurel GourrierComment
164 | A Sigh of Relief - Jenni & Bryson Moore
164 | A Sigh of Relief - Jenni & Bryson Moore

Creatives Jenni & Bryson had built a life together, centering their work in music and writing before their baby girl joined the family. Their pregnancy journey started with extreme nausea for Jenni. She sought medical support for her discomfort and found relief in prescription nausea medication. Jenni was interested in midwifery care but was “risked out” due to blood pressure issues. However, she was able to find medical providers that met her needs.

Deep-seated fear surrounding dying during childbirth under the care of hospital providers had settled into Jenni’s psyche. Routine prenatal appointments left her second-guessing the information she received from her providers. Jenni reached out to other Black medical and birth professionals for reassurance and additional information. The challenges of being a pregnant Black woman felt mentally heavy, constantly trying to read between the lines and discern information for accuracy. She found herself being very direct when with her care providers as she needed an induction. Jenni was concerned about a pulmonary embolism as she saw it in the media as a common cause of death or challenges during childbirth. She discussed a plan of care if she developed clots before consenting to her subsequent surgical birth.

Jenni and Bryson chose a surgical birth after a prolonged, four-day induction. The surgery was a shift from her vision but ended up being the most positive and relieving part of her labor and birth story.  Jenni felt good after her birth in terms of pain management. Once her body calmed down when they were at home, she could feel the sleep deprivation in conjunction with breastfeeding challenges. Their daughter had screaming fits that led them to call the nurse for support; that night, their nurse explored the idea of one night of baby formula. Jenni gave herself permission to rest by using supplemental formula for the night. Bryson ventured out in the middle of the night to purchase a can. However, when he returned to the house, all was well, and their baby girl had nursed. The reassurance of having a backup plan to feed their baby gave them some relief and peace. Their breastfeeding journey has been enjoyable for Jenni and their baby girl.

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Hospital Birth, Postpartum, Cesarean BirthLaurel GourrierSurgical Birth, Informed Consent, Postpartum SupportComment
162 | Built to Birth - Priya & Harsh Gandhi
162 | Built to Birth - Priya & Harsh Gandhi

With the culmination of a marriage biodata form, a year of cyberstalking, and the power of liquid courage Priya and Harsh finally connected. After a short courtship, they would marry during the Covid-19 pandemic. The couple found out they were expecting their first child while still managing the pandemic and the challenges it would bring to their parenthood journey. They were committed to learning how to prepare for birth.

Due to the nature of the pandemic and limited access to additional hospital guests, Harsh took on the task of learning doula skills. He studied physiological birth and ways to manage the birthing space, which included the BRAIN acronym (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Instinct or Intuition, and Nothing). These skills were instrumental in making decisions for Priya and baby as shifts arose.

On the day labor started, they tested their new skills and managed laboring at home until they suspected a ruptured membrane (her water broke). Because they were unsure of the leak, they contacted the hospital and planned to make their way in to check and bring their bags in case they needed to stay. They were informed that it was hospital policy to keep patients whose membranes had ruptured regardless of their stage of labor. Priya and Harsh kept busy by having a dance party and keeping Priya active as much as possible to help the baby engage and progress. Harsh was attentive and helped Priya build her oxytocin levels. She recounted the magical feelings she had with him being there. Their partnership was in full bloom in the birthing space.

After 3-4 hours of pushing and intense back pain, Priya’s provider recommended a surgical birth. Harsh and Priya agreed that after discussing their case and acknowledging all of the hard work she had put in, to make an empowered decision to have a surgical birth. Harsh praised the caregiver team as the surgery was efficient and smooth. They met their son and gently bonded with him as Priya continued to receive care.

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Postpartum, COVID-19, Hospital BirthLaurel GourrierComment
161 | NICU Grad to Advocate - Mya Morenzoni
161 | NICU Grad to Advocate - Mya Morenzoni

After a high blood pressure read at 20 weeks gestation, Mya started care with Maternal Fetal Medicine out of an abundance of caution. Seven weeks later, she would report to the hospital with a headache, feeling sick, and an even higher blood pressure reading, ultimately diagnosed with preeclampsia. Mya, a registered nurse, immediately knew her birth would be different than expected. Her doula met her at the hospital, as she was still being monitored and trying to keep the baby in utero as long as possible. Mya faced many decisions regarding her care about how she wanted to deliver her daughter; vaginal induced birth or surgical birth. She decided on a surgical birth. Mya wanted her husband to be engaged in the process by being able to cut the cord. During delivery, she was still managing her blood pressure through medications, magnesium sulfate, and Labetalol. The magnesium sulfate was hard on her body as it caused nausea, and she wasn't allowed to eat during administration. Balancing different rooms to stabilize her blood pressure and monitoring; went on for eight days until her daughter was born. Mya noted that administering medication for a patient versus being the patient was a very different experience. She had to step out of her "nurse mind" to be able to advocate for herself.

As baby Aria's umbilical cord showed signs of inadequate blood flow; Mya initiated the request for her cesarean birth. She would enter the world healthy, screaming with her eyes wide open. She weighed a little over a pound and was rushed to the NICU with her father. Mya stayed at the hospital for three additional days. She was ready to go home for rest and nourishment, but it was gut-wrenching to have to leave her daughter at the hospital. Thankfully, she had started pumping and was able to deliver several tubes of colostrum to the NICU before leaving.

Mya's birth experience has allowed her to become more vulnerable. She confided in her husband and parents that she was not okay and leaned into them for support. She shared the term NICU PTSD and the effects it can have on new parents. Mya had to face the reality that her child might not come home. Therapy was her saving grace to cope with anxiety and concerns about Aria.

From her own experience, Mya is creating a virtual safe space for moms to connect. Advising new parents as a trained doula Mya has developed a list of tips for expectant families. Start with researching providers, hire a doula to support you and prepare you for birth, learn about the NICU facility in the hospital, and hire a lactation consultant that makes you feel comfortable. You can connect with more of Mya's journey and support offerings here.

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Hospital Birth, NICU, PostpartumLaurel GourrierComment
159 | Redemptive Reflection - Elizabeth Rocha
159 | Redemptive Reflection - Elizabeth Rocha

High school sweethearts Elizabeth and Luis started to build their family shortly after marriage. There was no family history of infertility, but after many conversations within their circle, they felt it was worth starting a family as soon as possible. After learning more about ovulation tracking, they were expecting their first child without any challenges.

Fear of birth was built up by not knowing enough about the process - education helped release this fear. They took childbirth education and prenatal yoga together, which also helped them bond in the experience.

When they arrived at the hospital for labor, Elizabeth started to feel the cascade of interventions taking away her voice. She felt disconnected from her body after receiving an epidural. The pushing stage was long, three hours long. The feelings of joy she expected when her daughter arrived earthside were replaced with relief. It was over. Their nursing journey started as painful as the baby had a lip tie. Elizabeth didn’t feel equipped with proper knowledge of breastfeeding and pumping. Their discharge felt overwhelming, and they would go home with a crying baby with minimal support. They hired three different lactation counselors and endured two lip tie procedures. Elizabeth was determined to have a nursing relationship with her daughter, and she did.

Elizabeth wanted something different for their second birth as she recalled her first pregnancy. This time she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, which pushed her to make some health and nutrition changes as she worked through the initial shame she felt from the diagnosis. Sharing her diagnosis with friends and other birthing people helped her work through the emotions as others shared that they had endured the same. They hired a doula to provide additional support for managing the pregnancy and labor.

Labor was spontaneous, and she managed the contractions at home in a way that felt good and empowering. She isolated herself as labor progressed. Luis was more engaged during labor as he found his role this time. They would arrive at the hospital already 9.5 cm dilated with a cervical lip. She had created an environment to stay connected to her body with music and utilizing an eye mask during contractions. Elizabeth maintained her voice throughout her hospital experience. She asked questions and spoke up when she needed help. They welcomed their second daughter less than an hour after arriving at the hospital feeling joyful and empowered.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierLatinx Parenting, Birth Preparation, Doula Support, Gestational Diabetes, Postpartum Support, Breastfeeding/ChestfeedingComment
157 | A Redemptive Birth - Celia Bouza & Whitley Mingo
157 | A Redemptive Birth - Celia Bouza & Whitley Mingo

Celia Kelly Bouza and her husband, Terrell, welcomed two children in the last three years, while managing their busy careers at ESPN. Leading up to their son Axel’s pregnancy, they were met with a PCOS diagnosis for Celia and a miscarriage. The provider was supportive and helped them manage fertility support, and their journey was off to a great start.

However, upon arriving at the hospital, the nurses didn’t provide the support she had expected. There was a series of heart decelerations and position changes that led to an emergency surgical birth (belly birth) Things happened so quickly that the staff forgot to bring her husband along. He made it just in time as the surgery commenced.

After fertility challenges conceiving the first child, Celia and Terrell had no problems when they decided to expand their family again. Celia decided to hire a doula for additional support for her second pregnancy. She had experienced a dismissive provider about her extreme nausea early on, prompting her to change the medical team. Celia found her doula Whitley after a quick Instagram search. Whitley was forthcoming about her inexperience with VBAC as she met with Celia and offered her referrals to additional doulas. However, Celia felt they were the perfect fit due to her humility and their instant connection. This pregnancy through a few curve balls as they managed placenta previa, a slight increase in protein in the urine, and a couple of high blood pressure reads. The placenta previa would resolve itself but the other two issues led to an induction that triggered PTSD from her first birth experience.

Celia, Terrell, and Whitley arrived at the hospital for the induction. They were armed with deep knowledge of her medical records from Axel’s birth, empowered to make informed decisions, and a strong desire to have a redemptive birth.

After a rocky start, Whitley helped create an environment to help Celia relax and rest. That space of peace would be interrupted as her dilation and progress didn't match her expectations as the induction went on. The spiral started, and Celia’s mood shifted; her doula helped her recenter and reclaim her power in that moment of deep discouragement. They made some decisions about pausing the Pitocin and starting an epidural. The epidural placement did not go as expected. The anesthesiologist denied her reality when she told him it wasn’t working. She effectively banned him from her care team. The epidural was fixed, and she started to feel relief. Celia got her redemption by way of VBAC; despite the baby having a “true knot” and meconium present in the amniotic fluid, there were no complications. Celia was also able to find a space in healing about the loss of her mother in the same hospital she had just given birth in. A true story of redemption that has allowed her to feel a sense of wholeness.

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Cesarean Birth, Hospital Birth, Postpartum, VBACLaurel GourrierSurgical Birth, VBAC, PCOS, Nuchal Cord, True Knot, Black Doulas, Black OBGYNComment
150 | Celebration of Life - Shawnise Chantell
150 | Celebration of Life - Shawnise Chantell

This is a story about loss and rebirth; specifically what the Medical Industrial Complex deems a “near miss.” A maternal near miss occurs when someone nearly died but survived a complication that occurred during pregnancy, childbirth, or within 42 days of termination of pregnancy. 

Consider where your mind, body, and spirit are sitting during the time you read and listen to this story. 

Shawnise embarked on her third pregnancy with intentional care for herself and growing her family one last time. She managed her health and nutrition while raising her other daughters without complications in her pregnancy. A mother's quiet preparation had carried her through to term.

She planned a tubal ligation after the birth upon deciding that her family was complete. Shawnise understood that the procedure was simple and harmless, that would not be the case for Shawnise. Soon after delivering her daughter, she was rushed into the operating room for her procedure, not allowing time for skin-to-skin or initiating lactation. Post-surgery, she showed signs of severe illness over the next few days. The family immediately advocated for her care and informed her care providers that something was wrong and that she may be showing signs of infection. The response was not immediate and was dismissive at first. Her family pushed harder for emergent care; exploratory surgery began that night. Shawnise would spend two months in the hospital after being diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, Renal Failure, Perforated Bowel, Double Pneumonia, and Upper Respiratory Failure. Shawnise’s thoughts started to echo that she would not survive. Shawnise flatlined on the day before her expected discharge from the hospital. Her sister returned to the hospital and showed up in her scrubs from her job. She was mistaken for a staff member as they interacted with her in the room. Only discovering later that she was Shawnise’s sister after she passed out seeing her lifeless sister on the bed. Twenty minutes passed as Shawnise experienced a spiritual awakening in what she calls the Afterlife. She describes feeling the love and grace of God before being sent back home.

Trauma has a way of stealing joy from beautiful moments in our lives. You would never know that Baby Kensie’s birth was peaceful. It was perfectly normal. The pregnancy was beautiful. The family was strong then and even stronger today. Addressing her mental health has brought her to the point of sharing her story of triumph. Shawnise wakes up every day and can care for her children. Love helps her move forward and not look back.

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Hospital Birth, Loss, PostpartumLaurel GourrierTubal Ligation, Birth Advocacy, Postpartum SupportComment
147 | On their Terms - MyLin & Lindsay Stokes Kennedy
147 | On their Terms - MyLin & Lindsay Stokes Kennedy

MyLin and Lindsay started their lives together after marriage with the hopes of expansion. When they decided to have more children, they were not fully aware of the obstacles they would encounter. The sticker shock regarding Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) expense steered them towards traditional or old-school insemination with a known donor. Patience over almost two years and a devastating anembryonic pregnancy would lead them to the full-term pregnancy and consequent birth of their first child together.

Lindsay chose to carry the baby, and they managed their insemination personally with advice from a fertility specialist. The fertility specialist validated their concerns and guided them through the most straightforward ways to help them. Despite having PCOS, she could make adjustments in their fertility journey and conceive. Her pregnancy was amazing, and there were no issues until the end of the pregnancy. She presented with itchy hands and feet, which was one indicator of Cholestasis. Cholestasis can affect the liver and can be dangerous for mom and baby. An induction was ordered at 37 weeks to avoid complications to their health and after two days of labor, Lennox would join the family. Shortly afterward, Lindsay developed preeclampsia and would need additional monitoring.

Postpartum for Lindsay included healing and challenges with breastfeeding. Thankfully, MyLin had started the induced lactating process prenatally with the hopes of sharing the work of feeding the baby. She was able to nourish the baby while Lindsay worked through latching issues with Baby Lennox.

MyLin’s pregnancy required more preparation as she wanted to deliver at home. They were able to have all of the birth-related services to make her dream homebirth come true with the generous support of the Victoria Project, a nonprofit organization serving Southern California. The Victoria Project provided full financial support for a midwife (not the deposit), chiropractor, pelvic floor therapy, hypnobirthing, and childbirth education.

MyLin labored with her family and doula as they awaited the intensity of active labor. Lindsay busied herself preparing the tub for her but found her work was futile. MyLin found herself in “labor land” and talked her baby out as he quickly slipped out. The midwife would arrive later and attend to the newly expanded family. She had four postpartum midwifery visits and was able to spend a lot of time in bed, healing physically and mentally.

Finding the right avenues to expand their family was pivotal in their birthing experiences. MyLin and Lindsay share their knowledge with other same-sex couples to make themselves an accessible resource. Patience, grace, and softness are essential aspects of their continued parenting journey.

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Hospital Birth, Postpartum, Home Birth, IUI/IVFLaurel GourrierIUI, Anembryonic Pregnancy, PCOS, Cholestasis, Home Birth Family, Postpartum PreeclampsiaComment
146 | Outward Growth from Within - Michah Thomas
146 | Outward Growth from Within - Michah Thomas

Michah met pregnancy with sickness in the form of a heavy dose of Hyperemesis Gravidarum, also known as HG. It is a condition that presents in pregnancy as severe and persistent nausea and vomiting caused by hormone fluctuations. HG caused Michah to experience weight loss, food aversions, and anxiety about her baby's growth. She found comfort in the power of watermelon and OTC nutrition shakes.

Despite her challenges, she moved forward with planning a homebirth with her partner. The midwife they chose was informative and supportive, helping ease any concerns. Everything was going as planned until the baby started measuring smaller than expected. She started having routine growth scans until her provider discovered an amniotic fluid leak.

An amnioinfusion can treat an amniotic fluid leak. Unfortunately, this was not the case for Michah. She reported to her local hospital, where she would receive excellent care during her induction and subsequent labor. Michah delivered her baby with the help of forceps due to heart decelerations at the pushing stage to avoid a surgical birth. Her baby was sunnyside up, challenging her descent into the birth canal.

Physical recovery from the forceps assisted birth added to her healing process, but she was supported by her partner. Michah has connected with herself on different levels as postpartum has taught her grace and patience. Her work has been affected as it has become the focus of her Master's degree program. Building supportive relationships and honoring boundaries to grow as human beings and build healthy, strong families, they manage life on the other side of birth. Stepping in to support each other without local family support has been challenging, but again grace is sufficient, and Michah is slowly coming back to herself.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierHyperemesis, Induction, Amniotic Fluid Leak, Forceps DeliveryComment
145 | Fear & Triumph - Ashlee Grant
145 | Fear & Triumph - Ashlee Grant

Fear and triumph are two words that Ashlee Grant uses to describe her collective birthing experiences. She would navigate the uneasiness of a first pregnancy after miscarriage culminating in a surgical birth of her and her husband's choosing, solidifying their bond as partners. She found the still, small voice that strengthened their resolve.

Ashlee entered the second pregnancy as a new version of herself. She had found her voice after coming to grips with previous trauma and made space to process the layers of her first birth. A deepened knowledge of her body and spirit's needs deepened as her second son grew. She would again seek the support of her sister-in-law as her doula; this time, they had both grown and prepared to bring Ashlee's vision to life. Her doula was now working with ROOTT and had added more perinatal education to her skillset. Complications with the pandemic's beginning presented uncertainty as Ashlee and her husband, Jerod, considered how they would manage if their doula were not present. Thankfully labor would ensue before the hospital's temporary ban on doulas would start.

Ashlee labored at home with her family and doula as planned. The atmosphere was peaceful and undisturbed. They would leave for the hospital when the contractions (surges) were three minutes apart. She arrived in triage and consented to a cervical check that revealed she was 4cm dilated. Instantly defeated and whisked back to the same progression of her first labor Ashlee could feel a shift in her demeanor. Her doula quickly reminded her that it wasn't the same, her body was doing the work, and she would birth the way she wanted to this time. The redirection allowed her to connect to the present and continue balancing movement and rest in the labor room. She had the birth she wanted, delivering a healthy second son, this time without the epidural and minimal interventions.

Today, Ashlee encourages women to find their voices, seek support, and be their own best advocates. She is the host of her own self-coined "preachcast," Planted, where she speaks to the heart of women and opens their eyes to their unique gifting.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierROOTT Doulas, COVID-19, Black Families MatterComment
143 | The Journey, the Pain , the Promise - Brittany Turner
143 | The Journey, the Pain , the Promise - Brittany Turner

Before meeting her partner Tony, Brittany Turner didn't think it would be possible for her to have children. After suffering three miscarriages, she had been on a journey to understand the cause of her losses. There is undergoing bloodwork, genetic testing, and numerous ultrasounds, with no definite answer. So when she and Tony decided they were ready to expand their family together, they were pleasantly surprised when she became pregnant. But having both experienced the loss of children, they both were carrying an immense amount of anxiety, at times causing tension between them.

At 34 weeks pregnant - the longest pregnancy she had carried, Brittany noticed that her Braxton Hicks contractions were coming quite frequently. There was an uneasiness that something wasn't right that she was holding. Brittany decided that she would sit with the feeling throughout the night and see how she felt in the morning. But in the morning, the contractions and feelings were still there, accompanied by a small amount of bleeding. Sharing this with Tony, they both decided going in for monitoring would be best.

They did not expect that monitoring would shift to the need for an emergency surgical birth. Brittany reflected that nurses began rushing into her room without warning, explaining to her that due to her son's heart rate dropping, they were going to need to take her to the operating room (OR). Having to be entirely under anesthesia, the last thing Brittany remembers is saying a prayer to God to keep her and her son safe. She awoke, wondering what had happened and where her baby was. And when she was reunited with Tony, he placed their son on her chest - her son placed his little hand on her cheek. A sign that Brittany says was her son telling her that her prayers were answered, and they were ok.

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Cesarean Birth, COVID-19, Hospital Birth, Loss, PostpartumLaurel GourrierEmergency Surgical Birth, Preterm Birth, Preterm BabiesComment
142 | Lessons Learned - Vienna Fernandez
142 | Lessons Learned - Vienna Fernandez

When pregnant with her first child, there was a sense of loneliness. She and her husband lived in a space that wasn't close to family, and working in the city meant a long commute for them—a distraction from being able to be present during her pregnancy. Vienna expressed that it wasn't something she was truly prepared for when reflecting on her birth prep. She knew she wanted to have an unmedicated birth, but when her water broke, and she arrived at the hospital, 4cm dilated, she realized there was much more to the experience than she knew about.

She felt like her care providers weren't communicating well with her throughout her labor about the shifts happening and the interventions provided. As her son was having trouble descending during the pushing phase, her doctor proceeded with an episiotomy and vacuum support - an end to an experience that felt rushed to Vienna and left her confused.

Vienna would hold this memory close when she became pregnant with her second child. From her son's birth, she knew that she hadn't got the support she needed and couldn't trust her care providers to provide the education and advocacy she wanted or deserved. With revelation would be tough as, during her 30-week appointment, they discovered her daughter was measuring small, and close monitoring was needed. Vienna fell into a space of self-doubt and fear and didn't know who to lean to for support. Again wanting an unmedicated birth and knowing somewhat what to expect, she asked all the questions during her birth. And was very vocal about what her body needed. While her daughter came into this world weighing less than 6 pounds, Vienna felt that her voice had been louder and heard in this experience.

Her third birth was the culmination of everything she had taken from her first two births. Navigating changes brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic and the unexpectedness of being pregnant, Vienna hired a doula to help support her. With this birth and pregnancy, she was able to be much more in tune with her body and how this birth would look and feel. Each one of her births had been a deep lesson. Not only in how she wanted her births to be but ultimately how she wants to show us as a mother and for herself.

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Hospital Birth, COVID-19, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBirth Trauma, Healing, Birth Preparation, Postpartum SupportComment
141 | Forged in the Storm - Letitia & Brandon Gordon
141 | Forged in the Storm - Letitia & Brandon Gordon

Letitia and Brandon Gordon discovered they were expecting their second child when she was in nursing school. She found herself in a season of busyness and wanted to complete as much schoolwork as possible while managing her own business and their family.

Much to their surprise, Letitia started noticing signs of labor when she was 28 weeks gestation. After informing her doctor of her concerns, her provider assured her that it was not labor and shouldn’t be concerned. Her doctor was dismissive; that’s a common issue when we talk to Black women who have had complications in their pregnancies and labor. Unfortunately, Letitia was right; she was in labor and would report to the hospital the next day. Fear and panic kicked in, and her husband was a steady source of comfort and grounding as they prepared to welcome their second son unexpectedly early.

Letitia’s birth experience altered her career path, as she planned to be a psychiatric nurse. She’s now a labor and delivery nurse, trained birth doula, and a midwifery student. She brings hope, comfort, and support to expectant families with her own lives experiences and skills.

Letitia opened up about a new battle, breast cancer, during our interview. She is undergoing treatment and maintaining her family and professional responsibilities. Many of you know the toll that cancer treatment can take on a family and their finances. We have an ask - if you feel moved to support Letitia and her family, please listen to her birth story, and donate to her GoFundMe account.

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Hospital Birth, Postpartum, NICULaurel GourrierPreterm Birth, Postpartum Mental Health, Birth Trauma, Healing, NiCU Families, Black Birthworker Comment
140 | Reclamation - Jennifer Walton
140 | Reclamation - Jennifer Walton

“It’s not the baby. It’s you.” These are the words that Jennifer Walton would hear from her medical provider as he determined with a quick cervical check that she would need to deliver her baby via surgical birth. In fact, he later told her that she would never be able to deliver vaginally because a baby couldn’t fit through her pelvis. Jennifer didn’t want a c-section and made that clear to her provider. But the cascade of interventions and the lack of informed consent would send them into a spiral that left little room to catch up mentally to what was about to happen to Jennifer physically. There had been no complications or concerns, but a lull in labor would drastically alter Jennifer and her husband, Sean’s plans. Their first baby would be born healthy and strong, but the surgical birth trauma would linger into their postpartum world.

The Walton’s welcomed their second pregnancy with a young toddler to care for. Jennifer was determined that this birth would be different. The first pregnancy had been easy, and they had the rug pulled from under them in the twilight hours of labor. Jennifer was different; she had been fire tested and was prepared to put in the work to change the narrative that had been created about her body. The weight of her previous provider’s words was pressed into her psyche. She knew that she wanted a VBAC and stacked the deck to support her goal. Jennifer selected a new OB/GYN; she was a Black woman and made her feel supported and heard. Her friend introduced her to the term doula, and where she could find one, She connected with her perinatal support doula, Jessica Roach, at Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. The heart of their work is the commitment and rigorous training of their perinatal support doulas. Jessica educated her about her rights as a patient, guided her family through a healthy pregnancy, and helped strengthen their resolve for Jennifer to deliver their baby vaginally.

The fear of a uterine rupture would still linger in her mind, but with the support of her birth team, she moved forward with planning her VBAC. Jennifer recalled Jessica’s words in the midst of laboring at home, “Stop fighting your body and let this thing happen.” She did stop fighting her body. She let go of the defeating messages from her first pregnancy, surrendered to the process, and found her voice and strength. She gave birth to another healthy and strong daughter, accomplishing her VBAC.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierROOTT Doulas, Black Doulas, Black Families Matter, Black Mamas Matter, VBAC, Postpartum Mental Health, Village Support, Birth Preparation, Birth TraumaComment
138 | A Journey of Unwavering Submission - Ashley & Adrian Cleckley
138 | A Journey of Unwavering Submission - Ashley & Adrian Cleckley

During a global pandemic, Ashley and Adrian would welcome their first child while living in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). The safety and travel restrictions limited their access to their family, causing Ashley to feel immediately dependent on her doctor. Despite being inclined to more natural resources for medical support, she felt that pregnancy made her want to stick to what the doctor said they needed. Ashley started to shift back to her first thoughts about her health, rooted in natural medicine. An unmedicated birth would be explored to match their personal preferences. She and Adrian weren't sure if a natural birth could be possible, as they didn't know if they could or if Ashley could endure it. After careful consideration, they hired a doula hoping to have support with their birth plan. Cesarean birth, epidurals, and a fear of dying in childbirth were the only knowledge Ashley started with as she and her husband started their first pregnancy. Their doula educated them about pregnancy and childbirth, which helped dismantle her fears and feel more empowered. The quest for knowledge began, and when Ashley shared mind shifts with her doctor, there was also a shift in the doctor's countenance toward's their birth plan. The doctor was dismissive and resistant to her preferences and started fear-mongering tactics to alter their plans. Adrian shared that he felt angry during the doctor's appointment because they had intentionally researched and devised their birth plan. He settled himself, and he felt his family was losing control of the situation. The birth team had to change, and it did change; they found a new doctor and hospital that could meet their needs.

Pregnancy became more challenging as their household tested positive for Covid-19 at 37 weeks gestation. A new fear presented itself, as she prayed the baby would not come while she was feeling sick and too tired to care for a newborn. Thankfully Adrian was asymptomatic and could complete the baby preparation tasks, and Ashley would feel better when she went into labor. Another issue did arise as her doctor attended to a family emergency, and they didn't know if she would make it back for the delivery.

When labor day arrived, Ashley tuned in with herself and listened to her body as they managed the day. Nesting set in, and Ashley emailed her birth plan to the hospital as early labor began. She prepared her hair for delivery, as Black women do in preparation for a new baby. She labored at home with the support of Adrian and her doula throughout the next 23 hours. They decided to check in at the hospital and soon discovered that everyone on her service had a copy of her birth plan. Ashley would explore her options for comfort measurements with her supportive birth team. The labor had drawn out so long that exhaustion shifted her mindset, and Adrian hit his daddy doula stride to help her overcome. He stepped out in the hallway to talk to the nurse to support the plan. Ashley found herself in a meditative state as she wrestled with the tiredness of her body and the intensity of labor. She would grapple with decisions that were altering her birth experience that didn't reflect her true wishes. Calmness came from sinking within and tapping into God as a source that allowed her to go through it. She began pushing without prompting or permission. Ashley allowed her body to lead and deliver her son into the world after 32 hours of labor. She was amazed by her strength and the process of childbirth.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBirthing During COVID, Doula Support, Birth Options, Postpartum SupportComment
137 | Birthing Joyfully Through the Unexpected - Beatriz Gutierrez
137 | Birthing Joyfully Through the Unexpected - Beatriz Gutierrez

A seemingly normal pregnancy was quickly unraveled when Beatriz received the news that she had preeclampsia. She had been managing a plan to birth at home with a hospital-based midwife to support any medical challenges and a homebirth midwife to support the birthing space she wanted. At the top of the list item was a midwife that spoke Spanish, as her husband is a monolingual Spanish speaker. Unfortunately, her blood pressure (BP) readings at 36 weeks with the homebirth midwife were too high, causing her to refer Beatriz to the hospital for care. She would no longer be eligible for a homebirth after it was confirmed that protein was present in her urine. Not only did her plan fall apart, but she no longer felt she would have the safety of her home because she was scheduled for an induction at 37 weeks. The homebirth midwife accompanied her and her husband for the induction, and she helped her manage the interventions. She didn't know how much she would need to self-advocate, but things took a turn as her care provider didn't align with her preferences.

The messaging Beatriz had received from people in her circle had focused on a healthy baby arriving safely. Beatriz wanted to uphold the same priority level to how her baby would arrive safely. She went home for a couple of days by signing an AMA (Against Medical Advisement) form. Beatriz saw herself heading towards a surgical birth, and she pushed pause on the induction.

During this time Beatriz leaned into her own source as she communicated with her homebirth midwife monitoring her own BP and baby's heart rate at home. When she noticed a rise in her BP, she reported back to the hospital and started the induction over. The conversation of breaking her water came up again, but she refused and stated that she would wait for the next nurse on shift to check her cervix. The new midwife told her that the baby was too high and it would be dangerous to break her waters. Beatriz felt defeated as labor progressed slowly, even flirting with a cesarean just for it to end. But she had the love and support of her husband and sister and would eventually push her daughter out safely. She was no longer having to fight because she accomplished her goal while maintaining herself and the newborn child's health. She was able to have a hospital birth, but on her terms, at her pace, with a birth team that supported her fully. Most of her birth and postpartum team were Latina women who heard her and answered the call.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierHome Birth Transfer, Induction, Midwifery Care, Latina Midwives, Against Medical Advisement (AMA), Medical Harrassment, Birth Plan Shifts, Birth InterventionsComment
136 | Receiving Energy from Water - Adenike & Brandi
136 | Receiving Energy from Water - Adenike & Brandi

Their pregnancy journey involved five tries with Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). After two unsuccessful attempts at home, they decided to get support at a specialized clinic. They had a Nigerian nurse practitioner during the first two tries at the clinic (Adenike is of Nigerian and Haitian descent). Still, it would be the fifth try to become pregnant ultimately.

For Adenike, the pregnancy itself would be pretty "straightforward" the most challenging part was managing her Sickle Cell Anemia. Individuals with this diagnosis can have low birth weight babies due to the birthing person cells being shaped differently and how their body carries oxygen. For Adenike, this meant the need to get red blood cell exchanges completed once a month. Due to Covid, she was attending these appointments alone, spending four to five hours getting blood pumped in and out of her body. While a tasking endeavor, Adenike expressed that care providers like to tell you what you can do with your body in terms of Sickle Cell care. That was not the route that she and Brandi wanted for her pregnancy and birth. They leaned into the research they had done and the support of their doula to ensure every step of the way, Adenike was able to support her body in the way she understood her needs.

Adenike's pregnancy was considered high risk due to her Sickle Cell diagnosis paired with other health concerns. Taking that into account, her maternal-fetal medicine (MFM) doctor (also Nigerian) discussed with Adenike and Brandi that it might be safest to have an induction at 38 weeks. As the time came around, they could push this time frame back as her body and baby were managing well. After their appointment and returning home, Adneike and Brandi settled into their nightly routine, with Brandi taking their dogs on a walk. As she stepped out, she noticed a drizzle of rain, along with a woman she hadn't seen before sitting about 20 ft away. Brandi shares in a greeting with her, and the lady exclaims, "You know it's raining outside!" throwing Brandi off a bit as it wasn't raining that hard. Continuing on her walk, she was baffled when she saw the lady get up and begin walking away into the distance with no known end. Returning home, she shared this interaction with Brandi, but they both shrugged it off as they went to bed, but soon after, Adenike felt a sudden sharp pain and gush from her waters breaking.

Labor would take its time, the rain increasing into a torrential downpour as they made their way to the hospital. As they moved through their birth, some shifts were required from their birth plan, along with hard discussions and push back from their care team. Through it all, Adenike stayed in tune with her needs, and when she was ready to push, she followed her intuition, bringing her daughter hearthside as the rain came pouring down a reminder they were covered and held.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierDoula Support, Ancestral Support, Ancestral Traditions, Sickle Cell Anemia, IUI, Birthing With IntuitionComment