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175 | Learning Lessons Through Trauma - Javana Baptiste

Javana’s birth experience taught her some important lessons about self-advocacy and the current structure of maternal health in the United States. The gaps in education about options and the variance in how providers operate through the perinatal process led her down a road of challenges and fear.

Over thirty hours of labor started with mild, irregular contractions and pieces of her mucus plug releasing. Javana experienced irregular labor patterns that kept her home until her water broke. That shifted her mindset to watching the clock and did not feel like she her labor was intense enough to be in active labor. She attended her scheduled doctor's appointment and she was 2 cm dilated. Her doctors advised her to go to the hospital later in the day and suggested mid-afternoon. Arriving at the hospital led Javana down the cascade of interventions that started with an IV against her wishes. Labor started to feel isolating in that she felt alone and unsupported by her nursing team. Eventually, Javana accepted more interventions than she originally intended and an epidural helped her get some rest after being in labor for so long. Her most compassionate caregiver was the anesthesiologist, as he listened to her and talked her through the challenges of placing her epidural. After that the baby had some heart decelerations that concerned the care team. Javana was exhausted by the entire experience and she consented to a surgical birth.

After a challenging birth and hospital experience, Javana chose to honor herself in her motherhood with experiences of joy. She feels prepared to embark on her second birth with more knowledge and understanding of what could be.

Cesarean Birth, Hospital BirthLaurel GourrierMay 17, 2024Surgical Birth, Birth Interventions, Birth Plan ShiftsComment

173 | The Journey Pregnancy App - Courtney Williams

Our guest, CEO of Emagine Solutions Technology Courtney Williams, is the creator of The Journey Pregnancy App. The app enables patients to vital signs during pregnancy and then transmits this information in real-time and creates a record. Beyond that it issues a call to action for users to contact their providers when they enter vitals that are out of bounds based on ACOG standards. This technology was developed after Courtney experienced Postpartum Preeclampsia, a rare condition that occurs when you have high blood pressure and excess protein in your urine soon after childbirth. She was already working in maternal health technology.

Courtney’s pregnancy started in 2019; she gave birth at the height of the first wave of the pandemic in 2020. The pregnancy started well; she ate right and worked out daily. But the gym access stopped due to the pandemic - unfortunately, this was a major stress reliever for Courtney. She also utilized acupuncture with a naturopathic provider. Eventually, she lost access to that support due to growing concerns due to the pandemic. It had been helpful for morning sickness; this was another hit to her emotional support.

A week before the childbirth, Courtney's son measured big and they were scheduled for a surgical birth; which she was ok with because it eased her uncertainty. Unfortunately, the hospital would not allow her doula to be present. Courtney’s husband was her sole support during the birth and everything went well as they welcomed their son. In the hours and days after the birth, her body started swelling. Courtney presented with a headache and pronounced chest pain five days postpartum. She attempted to contact her provider but did not get a response; she decided to go to the emergency room, where she was diagnosed with Postpartum Preeclampsia. After returning home, she needed to report to her doctor’s office multiple days in a week for blood pressure readings. This brought about challenges in their breastfeeding/pumping journey. Courtney was surprised that there wasn't technology to ease the challenges for new parents to go to frequent appointments during the early phases of postpartum.

We will save ourselves. We have everything we need within ourselves to rebuild birth better. Being active participants in our care, engaging providers who acknowledge and respect our voices, and equipping ourselves with innate knowledge and an understanding of how our unique bodies respond to pregnancy are key components in creating safer, joy-filled birth experiences.

164 | A Sigh of Relief - Jenni & Bryson Moore

Creatives Jenni & Bryson had built a life together, centering their work in music and writing before their baby girl joined the family. Their pregnancy journey started with extreme nausea for Jenni. She sought medical support for her discomfort and found relief in prescription nausea medication. Jenni was interested in midwifery care but was “risked out” due to blood pressure issues. However, she was able to find medical providers that met her needs.

Deep-seated fear surrounding dying during childbirth under the care of hospital providers had settled into Jenni’s psyche. Routine prenatal appointments left her second-guessing the information she received from her providers. Jenni reached out to other Black medical and birth professionals for reassurance and additional information. The challenges of being a pregnant Black woman felt mentally heavy, constantly trying to read between the lines and discern information for accuracy. She found herself being very direct when with her care providers as she needed an induction. Jenni was concerned about a pulmonary embolism as she saw it in the media as a common cause of death or challenges during childbirth. She discussed a plan of care if she developed clots before consenting to her subsequent surgical birth.

Jenni and Bryson chose a surgical birth after a prolonged, four-day induction. The surgery was a shift from her vision but ended up being the most positive and relieving part of her labor and birth story. Jenni felt good after her birth in terms of pain management. Once her body calmed down when they were at home, she could feel the sleep deprivation in conjunction with breastfeeding challenges. Their daughter had screaming fits that led them to call the nurse for support; that night, their nurse explored the idea of one night of baby formula. Jenni gave herself permission to rest by using supplemental formula for the night. Bryson ventured out in the middle of the night to purchase a can. However, when he returned to the house, all was well, and their baby girl had nursed. The reassurance of having a backup plan to feed their baby gave them some relief and peace. Their breastfeeding journey has been enjoyable for Jenni and their baby girl.

Hospital Birth, Postpartum, Cesarean BirthLaurel GourrierJanuary 25, 2023Surgical Birth, Informed Consent, Postpartum SupportComment

157 | A Redemptive Birth - Celia Bouza & Whitley Mingo

Celia Kelly Bouza and her husband, Terrell, welcomed two children in the last three years, while managing their busy careers at ESPN. Leading up to their son Axel’s pregnancy, they were met with a PCOS diagnosis for Celia and a miscarriage. The provider was supportive and helped them manage fertility support, and their journey was off to a great start.

However, upon arriving at the hospital, the nurses didn’t provide the support she had expected. There was a series of heart decelerations and position changes that led to an emergency surgical birth (belly birth) Things happened so quickly that the staff forgot to bring her husband along. He made it just in time as the surgery commenced.

After fertility challenges conceiving the first child, Celia and Terrell had no problems when they decided to expand their family again. Celia decided to hire a doula for additional support for her second pregnancy. She had experienced a dismissive provider about her extreme nausea early on, prompting her to change the medical team. Celia found her doula Whitley after a quick Instagram search. Whitley was forthcoming about her inexperience with VBAC as she met with Celia and offered her referrals to additional doulas. However, Celia felt they were the perfect fit due to her humility and their instant connection. This pregnancy through a few curve balls as they managed placenta previa, a slight increase in protein in the urine, and a couple of high blood pressure reads. The placenta previa would resolve itself but the other two issues led to an induction that triggered PTSD from her first birth experience.

Celia, Terrell, and Whitley arrived at the hospital for the induction. They were armed with deep knowledge of her medical records from Axel’s birth, empowered to make informed decisions, and a strong desire to have a redemptive birth.

After a rocky start, Whitley helped create an environment to help Celia relax and rest. That space of peace would be interrupted as her dilation and progress didn't match her expectations as the induction went on. The spiral started, and Celia’s mood shifted; her doula helped her recenter and reclaim her power in that moment of deep discouragement. They made some decisions about pausing the Pitocin and starting an epidural. The epidural placement did not go as expected. The anesthesiologist denied her reality when she told him it wasn’t working. She effectively banned him from her care team. The epidural was fixed, and she started to feel relief. Celia got her redemption by way of VBAC; despite the baby having a “true knot” and meconium present in the amniotic fluid, there were no complications. Celia was also able to find a space in healing about the loss of her mother in the same hospital she had just given birth in. A true story of redemption that has allowed her to feel a sense of wholeness.

Cesarean Birth, Hospital Birth, Postpartum, VBACLaurel GourrierNovember 17, 2022Surgical Birth, VBAC, PCOS, Nuchal Cord, True Knot, Black Doulas, Black OBGYNComment

132 | Trusting the Surrender ~ Aureyl Pitts-Thomas

Having had a chemical pregnancy before, Aureyl held onto a lot of fear about her health and its correlation to how this pregnancy would continue. Not feeling supported by her care provider, she reached out to two of her dear friends who also happened to be doulas at the time with the local doula organization Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). This additional layer of support gave her the tools to switch to a new care provider that was perfect for her family. Her doula also guided her in managing her hyperemesis gravidarum diagnosis. In a conversation with her doula, she realized that she had to address the fear she had about her body. Her doula explained that she couldn't "operate in both." She had to be either affirming that she was truly capable or sit alongside the fear. Aureyl realized she had to do the work and shared from then that her pregnancy and birth would have a theme of continued surrender - surrendering to her body, words, and thoughts about what her experience should be.

On Sept. 13th, 2020, around midnight, Aureyl went to the bathroom and noticed some fluid with a pink tinge. Having done in-depth prep with her doula about what to expect when labor began, Aureyl was pretty confident her waters had broken. She informed her doula, her family, and care provider and went back to bed to try and rest. The following day with the support of her doula, they tried to help labor progress with movement, continued to monitor the amount of fluid she was losing (as she had a small leak), along with her temperature and baby's heartbeat. After 24 hours of this routine, they decided to head to the hospital. The hospital birth team informed Aureyl she would need to get a cervical check to confirm that her waters had broken and how her body was progressing. This check was extremely painful for her, and after hearing that she was only 1cm dilated, she expressed feeling a sense of deep discouragement, and the tinges of distrust of her body began rising again. Discussing options with her birth team, she decided to rest, and as she continued to move through her birth, the trust of surrendering she had put in her pregnancy would still ring true.

Aureyl had to ask herself to surrender to the shifts of her birth; this included the support of Pitocin to help her progress. The guidance from her doctor in getting an epidural to ease her distress with cervical checks and the later part of her labor was supportive. And ultimately, meeting her baby on Sept. 15th through a surgical birth was what was aligned for them. Reflecting on her experience, Aureyl indicates that she could be at peace with each of those decisions as they were all made on her terms. And she looks back on her experience in awe of how beautiful it was for her.

129 | Victorious Together - Chelsea Butler

Chelsea always knew that her first child would be a son. However, she couldn't predict the circumstances of when she would become pregnant. A global pandemic would bring her aspirations of acting to a screeching halt as production stopped. She shifted gears as she needed to prepare for caring for herself and a new baby. Emotional issues developed as her relationship with her partner deteriorated. She felt alone. Depression set in, and conflict with friends and family grew.

Elevated blood pressure, news that the baby was determined to be large for his gestational age, and gestational diabetes concerns overshadowed her birth plan hopes. Her provider started discussing a surgical birth before she had an opportunity to labor. She disagreed with her OB/GYN's preeclampsia diagnosis and decided to change from hospital birth to a birth center that could support her plans. The midwives at the birth center agreed to accept her for care. She didn't feel connected to them or fully confident about the birthing space, but she pushed forward as it seemed like a better option than the hospital.

Chelsea's membranes ruptured, and she contacted the birth center. She was told to rest and give herself time, and she eventually went in to have her fluid tested for amniotic fluid. After two days of leaking and intense back pain, she contacted the midwives, and they told her to wait again. She reported to the birth center on the third day, and her rupture was confirmed. However, she had not dilated despite feeling like her body had completed a lot of work. She kept herself active and wanted to use water therapy to support her comfort. She would manage the labor, but her cervix did not dilate. She would eventually transfer to the hospital to manage the rest of her labor. The hospital shift was challenging mentally and physically. Chelsea reached ten cms and immediately started to push even though her son was still high in her pelvis. A surgical birth became her last option, and it was quickly discovered that her baby had swallowed meconium and had fluid in his lungs. In addition, she had nearly hemorrhaged. She reflected on the intensity and degree of interventions in the hospital; everything she had wanted for her birth had crumbled. She felt disconnected from the people caring for her and the space she was in.

Carrying all of the trauma home with her new baby would be a rollercoaster. Therapy and group support have helped. She has also connected with the women in her family to help build her connections and heal. Healing comes one day at a time with intention.

114 | The Birth of Ingrid & Isabel - Ingrid Carney

Within her pregnancy, Ingrid Carney would lean into a flexible and go with the flow mindset. As she came closer to the birth of her daughter, she felt like things would be textbook. So at eight and a half months, when she found out her daughter was breech, it wasn't something she felt prepared to handle. She gathered the information from the doctors and decided to move forward with trying to flip her daughter. Soon after the procedure, her water broke, and she would navigate three days of labor before her daughter was born. On the third day, reaching a point of feeling like she was tapped out, Ingrid and her husband decided to move forward with a surgical birth.

During the early parts of her postpartum, she had an extensive support system, but she found that she and her support system focused a lot on her daughter and not much on Ingrid's healing. At some point finding herself in what she described as a "fog" - but now knowing she was dealing with postpartum depression. Navigating it on her own with her husband, she slowly found her rhythm, and tides would change drastically after joining a mom's group. This group provided her community with others who were also working through their parenthood journey at the same time.

Joining this group would also be the beginning for Ingrid & Isabel. In a conversation in her mom's group, there was a discussion around products they all were using and whether or not they worked. Ingrid shared that she had created something - the Bellaband®. Seeing it and how it worked, the group encouraged her to move forward and make more. Taking advantage of nap time, Ingrid would use that time to explore fabrics and designs and, in November 2003, would have her first sale. The Bellaband® would become a product that brought her family together and has grown into a national company offering a full range of maternity essentials.

111 | Redefining and Reconciling with Motherhood - Amber Thornton

At 39 weeks, around 9 pm, after watching a show with her husband, Dr. Amber Thorton got up and immediately felt her waters rupture. Her husband began organizing and preparing their things to allow birth to flow. During that time, she noticed that her contractions were intense and very consistent. Arriving at the hospital with her doula and husband for support, Dr. Amber was surprised to find that she was already 6cm. Settling in, she continued to move through labor and her birth plan. Labor continued to progress, but after 2 hours of pushing and her daughter not descending, Dr. Amber, with the support of her birth team, decided to move forward with a surgical birth.

The beginnings of postpartum would require an extended hospital stay as Dr. Amber did develop postpartum preeclampsia, a diagnosis she was encouraged to explore after a recommendation from her virtual community. It would also yield the transition of healing from her surgical birth, supporting her toddler and newborn, and reconciliation with herself around her birth. The transparency of "not liking having” a second surgical birth and “working through the what if's". Through those feelings, acknowledging that they are valid and not the sole determinant of her motherhood.

106 | A Peaceful Surprise - Shay & Joshua

An unexpectedly easy pregnancy led Shay and Joshua through a journey of exploration and intention setting that would create a backdrop for a pregnancy and birthing experience that would be become a love letter for their daughter.

Shay and Joshua chose to announce their pregnancy to a few select people. They managed to keep their happy secret despite Shay's work on social media that often finds her sharing much of her personal life. Their journey to parenthood was marked by detailed preparations that included observing other families, nutrition planning, hiring a doula and midwife, and taking deep dives into researching what felt right for them.

Their family learned that all of the best intentions could not stop a global pandemic from shifting aspects of their birth plan, like having a doula present in the hospital. But they were already determined to focus on the "controllables," as Shay coined it. They managed to labor at the hospital but shifted to surgical birth. Since giving birth, Shay has become more aware of her own needs and openly communicates with Joshua. She has been able to lean into his care and ask for it when needed. Communication has been the key to managing their new parenthood journey.

COVID-19, Cesarean Birth, Hospital BirthLaurel GourrierMay 31, 2021Black Maternal Health, Surgical Birth, COVID-19Comment

87 | A Mother's Work - Oriel McKinney

Oriel started her pregnancy as being relatively normal and without issues. Her and her husband prepared by taking all of the new parent classes with excitement and curiosity. Her story took an abrupt shift when her blood pressure started increasing, and she found herself being treated with medication and was not aware of the cause.

The issues with high blood pressure found her needing additional advocacy by her mother, an experienced nurse. Her mother refused to allow her daughter’s health issues to be brushed off or delayed treatment. She shared how her treatment shifted as her language matched those of the medical field. She was admitted to the hospital for further monitoring, which led to an emergency surgical birth at 33 weeks, as her baby didn’t pass the assessments.

Oriel had a feeling of Deja Vu as she carried her second child. Things were going well, and she treated herself to a maternity shoot as she surpassed the 33-week mark. However, she was met with more blood pressure challenges and needed to deliver her daughter just short of being full term at 36 weeks.

Challenges with preeclampsia marked both pregnancies and influenced some postpartum life changes that have led the way for a healthier life for Oriel. She shared her journey as a NICU parent and how she never paused for her healing, as is common for parents with special needs children. Now Oriel stands by scheduling time for herself and has the support of her partner to honor it. Listen in for a story about the incredible power of advocacy and resilience.

Hospital Birth, Cesarean Birth, NICULaurel GourrierJanuary 21, 2021NiCU Families, Birth Advocacy, Surgical BirthComment

83 | Faith with Chance - Tia & Martino Gedeus

Tia described the moment when faced with an X-ray needed after a cough sent her to the ER. She was informed that it was cancer after a follow up with a pulmonologist. Leading her down a road of testing, treatment, and specialists. All moving at a fast pace to provide immediate treatment. Tia was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, and she immediately felt herself come outside of her body. She began inpatient chemotherapy treatment for the cancer.They utilized all of the medications, including those that would cross through the placenta, because she didn’t just want to survive the pregnancy and raise her child.

Tia and Martino’s birth would culminate with an emergency surgical birth at 31 weeks pregnant due to the baby having repeated heart decelerations after mom passed a large blood clot. Their hospital stay was brief due to her weakened immune system, but she quickly returned the next day due to a fever that would later be determined as lung inflammation.

Postpartum was challenging, as one might imagine. Their family stepped in to visit Baby Chance in the NICU as Tia healed and Martino took care of her and their other daughter. Yes, the baby was named Chance because they gave him a chance at life. Tia and Martino’s story goes beyond birth; it is a testament to their faith, strength, determination, favor, and love.

65 | Two C-Sections, Two Sons, One Mom in Progress - Gelise Littlejohn Thomas

After a perfect first pregnancy, Gelise discovered she was experiencing preeclampsia symptoms that led to an emergency surgical birth. She was never given the diagnosis, but complications during the induction process led her down the road to a surgical birth. The second pregnancy started with Gelise accepting that anything could happen during pregnancy. She had learned from the first experience that birth was unpredictable. She attempted a VBAC that led to another surgical birth.

Gelise’s postpartum period with both of her pregnancies included a beautiful journey with breastfeeding and bonding. She shares her extended nursing periods and the lasting impacts with us. Listen in for a story about overcoming expectations and moving forward with what you can control.

Hospital Birth, Cesarean BirthLaurel GourrierSeptember 17, 2020Surgical Birth, Extended Breastfeeding/ChestfeedingComment

56 | Stay the Course - Gabrielle Burks

From the beginning, Gabrielle and her fiance knew with the birth of their son; they were going to do things differently this time around. They hired a doula, hired a midwife, and began preparing for their homebirth. Yet seven months into their pregnancy, they were hit with the news that their midwife wouldn't be able to support them, and they had to go back to the drawing board. They visited different hospitals until they found one that felt right and enrolled in a nine-week intensive birth class. In this class, not only did they learn about childbirth but how to control their care, work with sand speak with their care providers to ensure that all decisions were based on and from informed consent. The lessons learned from this class would be vital in their advocacy and care during and after their son's birth.

Her son was born, but not breathing - care providers eventually revived him, but due to the length of time he was without oxygen, they were unsure if he would make it through the night. Gabrielle made that doctor eat his words, pray with her and her family, and demanded that no stone go unturned in her son's care. Her experience highlights the dark parts of birth, the parts we hope never happen, and yet it brings forth what can happen when you have the pieces to be empowered and use them fully.

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