111 | Redefining and Reconciling with Motherhood - Amber Thornton
For Dr. Amber Thorton, her second pregnancy followed suit of her first. She found ease in the pregnancy and was able to stay very active until about 36 weeks. The parts of this second journey that would require more from here would be finding the harmony of providing the attention she needed to her toddler son and managing the shifts both physically and emotionally from pregnancy, releasing the fear of a VBAC not being possible for her. In those times of doubt, she leaned into the support of her doula and the virtual community. A community she had found such solace in, especially during the early parts of the COVID-19 pandemic.
At 39 weeks, around 9 pm, after watching a show with her husband, Dr. Amber got up and immediately felt her waters rupture. Her husband began organizing and preparing their things to allow birth to flow. During that time, she noticed that her contractions were intense and very consistent. Arriving at the hospital with her doula and husband for support, Dr. Amber was surprised to find that she was already 6cm. Settling in, she continued to move through labor and her birth plan. Labor continued to progress, but after 2 hours of pushing and her daughter not descending, Dr. Amber, with the support of her birth team, decided to move forward with a surgical birth.
The beginnings of postpartum would require an extended hospital stay as Dr. Amber did develop postpartum preeclampsia, a diagnosis she was encouraged to explore after a recommendation from her virtual community. It would also yield the transition of healing from her surgical birth, supporting her toddler and newborn, and reconciliation with herself around her birth. The transparency of "not liking having” a second surgical birth and “working through the what if's". Through those feelings, acknowledging that they are valid and not the sole determinant of her motherhood.
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