106 | A Peaceful Surprise - Shay & Joshua

An unexpectedly easy pregnancy led Shay and Joshua through a journey of exploration and intention setting that would create a backdrop for a pregnancy and birthing experience that would be become a love letter for their daughter.

Shay and Joshua chose to announce their pregnancy to a few select people. They managed to keep their happy secret despite Shay's work on social media that often finds her sharing much of her personal life. Their journey to parenthood was marked by detailed preparations that included observing other families, nutrition planning, hiring a doula and midwife, and taking deep dives into researching what felt right for them.

Shay spent time writing letters to both her unborn daughter and her husband, offering her reflections and gratitude for them. They serve as documents filled with the hope that their daughter would have a glimpse into who her mother is or was at the time of her pregnancy and their daughter's effect on their lives.

Their family learned that all of the best intentions could not stop a global pandemic from shifting aspects of their birth plan, like having a doula present in the hospital. But they were already determined to focus on the "controllables," as Shay coined it. They managed to labor at the hospital but shifted to a surgical birth with brought much anxiety for Shay. She was deeply aware of the challenges that Black women have had in birthing spaces. Joshua stayed positive as he expected all to go well. Relying on ancestral knowledge of Black women being the first birthing people.

Since giving birth, Shay has become more aware of her own needs and openly communicates with Joshua. She has been able to lean into his care and ask for it when needed. Communication has been the key to managing their new parenthood journey.

Resources:

Mine-R-T Doula Company | labor coach for pregnant individuals and couples in Charlotte, North Carolina and surrounding areas