144 | Letting Go of Expectations - Danielle Henderson & Shandell Rosa

Visualization is a powerful tool, especially for preparing for labor; it can turn our hopes into expectations. Much was the case for Danielle Henderson as she and her husband, Jeff, began preparing for a home birth for their first child.

She was healthy and did not feel that the hospital was the best setting for her birth. This idea was new for her family, as everyone else had birthed at a hospital, and they were unsure of the process but supportive of her choice. Her mother and her sister, Shandell, planned to support her by holding space for them on their porch to allow Danielle to keep her birth space private.

Danielle created the environment she had envisioned by having calming music and lighting during her labor. The midwife arrived and was deeply committed to being present and supporting Danielle. She even had the support of her mother and sister as planned. Delivery drew out longer than they thought, and there was a family history of short or precipitous labors. However, a tilted uterus would make her work feel more intense and give the feeling that she had progressed. Her mother and sister would eventually leave as time went on. During labor, Danielle found herself coming out of her calmness and felt that hindered her progression. The next day Shandell returned to the porch awaiting the baby’s arrival. Little did she know that she would be entering the birth space. Jeff would ask her to come into the home and support the team. Shandell recalls knowing how vulnerable her sister would feel, and she cautiously stepped in and avoided looking at her to help her maintain her mindset and not face her disappointment. In a word, she held a boundary for her sister while also holding space. Despite having a nuchal arm and double wrapped umbilical cord impeding his descent, Baby Jackson would make a healthy entrance earthside in his parents’ bed.

Danielle’s son’s placenta tree

After her birth, Danielle could feel herself detaching from the experience as she would continue to live where she had delivered her baby. Connecting memories with spaces were hard on her mentally. The newness of motherhood was an adjustment, with full support from her family, and her husband has helped with the adjustment of new motherhood.

Resources:

The Birth Partner | a complete guide to childbirth for dads, partners, doulas, and all other labor companions

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding | nursing guide from preparation, pregnancy, expressing and storing milk

HypnoBirthing | classes for parents who strive for gentle, calm, and natural childbirth