168 | Survival is the Floor, Joy is the Ceiling - Raena Boston

Raena Boston, Founder of the Chamber of Mothers and The Momtras, joined us to share her three birth experiences and the makings of motherhood. Raena's first pregnancy lead her down a new path for her family by choosing a birth center instead of a hospital. Her provider was off-putting and the idea of shifting to different providers within the practice helped her make the decision.

The birth center experience with Baby Aksel was beautiful. She arrived at the birth center at 4 cm dilated after a night of laboring at home. Her husband, Travis, and their doula were supportive and helped her manage labor and delivery.

Their second pregnancy would be a "happy accident" 10 months after their first son was born.  They chose to work with the birth center again. Baby Asher came a little over a week passed his estimated due date. Walking around the neighborhood was helpful but she had become anxious and tired of being pregnant. Not to mention managing a toddler through the last few days before the birth. True to form Raena arrived at the birth center 6cm dilated with the understanding of her body's needs helping direct her labor. The midwife was laid back and focused on ensuring Raena listened to her body and felt empowered through the process. Baby Asher was born shortly afterward with some concern as he arrived covered in meconium

After bringing two kids earthside Raena and Travis experienced a hard period in their marriage as they navigated how they would move forward together. 2021 would usher in another "happy accident" after they chose each other and worked on their relationship. This pregnancy and birth would be during the pandemic. They wanted to use the birth center again. The initial prenatal appointment was different, as discussions about her BMI became an issue. The nurse mentioned her race and BMI as reasons they needed to take more measures,including a daily aspirin and early screening for gestational diabetes, despite never having a medical history of high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. Raena attempted to address her concerns about how she was being treated; she regrets not listening to her gut. The mask mandate was rescinded in Florida; the practice also stopped requiring mask-wearing due to the pressure of other patients who didn't want to wear the masks. During a 38-week appointment, Raena was handed a packet for her appointment and a slip of paper fell out that read "BMI-out of bounds". She was instantly triggered by this and started to feel agitated. She then had a high blood pressure reading that led to a conversation that would make a major shift in her pregnancy. Raena's blood pressure continued to get higher as the days passed. She and Travis had started conversing about switching to a homebirth with another midwife. Her blood pressure reached 174/106; they planned to go to the hospital.

Transitioning their birth plan was mentally challenging but after getting settled into the idea that she would stay at the hospital. Raena was able to maintain a decent BP without continuous high readings. They started an induction when Raena was ready, as she wanted a different doctor on call. The staff at the hospital was mindful that the hospital was not her first choice and worked with her through her options. The environment wasn't ideal; she pushed through her expectations. The intensity was high and the doctor wanted to break her water. She felt unheard and over-talked during labor. Raena pushed their baby out, and Travis announced the sex. They were on a high as they acknowledged that they had survived a challenging season in marriage and were proud of themselves as a couple.

Processing her last birth has shed light on the lessons learned; like paying attention when people and places have changed or that you have changed and know you need something different. Listen to the wisdom of your body. Self-advocacy can be learned the hard way or we can pick it up from those who came before us. You don't have to be a model patient. Raena vows to never, ever abandon herself again.

Resources:

The Working Momtras | community of affirmations, stories, and connection - through the lens of motherhood

Chamber of Mothers | a nonprofit focusing on uniting mothers as advocates to America’s priorities on mothers’ rights