167 | Prepare and Then Let Go - Dasia Gant

A few years have passed since we last heard from Dasia. She shared her first birth story, which included a home birth transfer to the hospital where she endured birth trauma. 

Since our last chat on the podcast, Dasia added birth doula to her growing list of titles and passions.  

This second pregnancy was unexpected but welcome. Her threshold of knowledge had shifted not just within birth work but what she knew about herself after becoming a mother for the first time. In retrospect, she acknowledges that she wanted to repair the issues of her first traumatic birth and didn’t allow herself to sit in the joy and miracle of the second birth. She dove head first, determined to create a birth dream team and the home birth of her desires. She found a doula and midwife that aligned with her needs. The desire to prepare her body for labor and commit to her care was strengthened by weekly commitments to a chiropractor, massage therapist, and float therapy. When asked if she sought mental health therapy during this pregnancy Dasia took us through a moment of self-reflection. She remembers researching therapists and never pushing forward. There is resistance to seeing one’s self as deserving and not minimizing hardships about other difficult times. Her husband and best friend, Juvante, was working out of town for the majority of the pregnancy. His physical absence was the removal of her sounding board and being seen. This was an emotional strain but she still felt mentally sound, which made it feel less pressing to address. The idea of invalidating our own experiences is sitting with her and is allowing her to pause in the now. Unpacking this birth was two-fold as Dasia prepared for survival and maintained her plan to birth in a safe space.

Dasia’s labor started during her braiding appointment. Although she thought they were Braxton-Hicks her stylist sped up the process. Dasia consulted with her doula and midwife and they told her things would come as they were supposed to. She spent the rest of her day with her family as the contractions continued. The frequency and intensity of the contractions increased. She kept denying the labor but gave herself space to eat and rest. She finally informed the birth team how the day was going. She experienced a sharp pain through each contraction. She wasn’t concerned but wanted to relieve it. Dasia came into acceptance of labor as she tried to take a warm bath that did not slow things down at all. There was a fear of losing stamina that stemmed from the first birth that pushed her to rest. The midwife arrived around 2:00 am and peacefully joined the space. Her husband stepped in as her doula as he was ever-present and supporting her needs. Squatting through her contractions while her husband held her felt deeply vulnerable. She could feel the shifts in engagement and transition proved mentally challenging as she was processing that her home birth was happening. Instincts kicked in and her body made the shifts needed to plant her feet in the present. Her husband told her he can see the baby’s hair and they welcomed their second baby girl shortly afterward. 

Building a village of community support has been heavy work for Dasia and Juvante in this postpartum season. They are in a space of being close to family geographically but not connected in a way that supports their growing family’s needs.  This is the challenge of postpartum, especially after the pandemic has weakened some relationships with distance. The intentionality of seeking out support and building relationships isn’t easy but necessary. 

Resources:

Therapy for Black Girls | online space dedicated to encouraging the mental wellness of Black women and girls

Spinning Babies | pregnancy preparation as well as labor activities to ease birth

Susan the Birth Doula|specializes in birth and postpartum advocacy, education, and support for expecting mothers

Love ‘N’ Touch (Sekesa Berry) | traditional community midwifery care serving the Atlanta area