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155 | An Unexpected Arrival - Kelly Barnes

Yoga Instructor and traveling Occupational Therapist, Kelly Barnes shared her quicker than expected homebirth at 37 weeks. An experience she describes as "challenging, overwhelming, and rewarding all at the same time." Her expectations regarding when and how she would give birth were dismantled but the result was pure magic.

Kelly maintained an active lifestyle which included yoga and running throughout her pregnancy. Dual care with a certified homebirth midwife and OB. Envisioning a water birth was a focal point for Kelly as she embarked on her pregnancy. As a contingency, she enlisted dual care with a licensed professional midwife for the homebirth and an obstetrician to cover in case she needed to transfer from home.

Building up to her maternity leave, she loaded up on work to fully fund her maternity leave. As the nesting phase started to kick in she started to show signs of early labor. This sudden change caught Kelly off guard, and she wasn’t mentally or physically prepared for the baby to arrive. Her husband enlisted her sister to help her reconnect in mind and body to settle into the reality that she didn’t have weeks to prepare. Labor progressed as her husband scrambled to complete the homebirth checklist, thankfully, their doula was present to support her. The atmosphere shifted as her team slowly made their way to the home and set up the environment. Kelly managed labor with what was familiar to her, movement. She would live out her vision as she pushed her baby out.

Birth and motherhood are teaching Kelly that research is key, aligning with your care provider, and making informed choices.

154 | The Other Side - Danielle Miller

In collaboration with Pacify Health, this month’s episodes will focus on the doulas. You’ll hear conversations with four Pacify Doulas, getting a chance to reflect on “ The Other Side” of birth. Today we meet Danielle Miller.

Danielle Miller was an established lactation counselor when the call to birth doula work pulled her in as a change agent supporting Black birthing people. She completed both birth and postpartum training, allowing her to build upon her skills. The first birth she attended felt like such an honor that she couldn’t believe she had waited to become a doula. The love for the work has determined her path, and feels purposeful. Witnessing babies come earthside has demanded she respect the process, not rush and allow.

Introducing virtual support to her practice with the Pacify app has further developed her skills to provide more mental guidance for her clients. Tapping into the ability to reach clients from wherever was uncomfortable but necessary. Now she embraces it as birth can call on mindfulness that connects with the body. Helping mothers and birthing people feel seen and heard during their pregnancy and labor is key to how they feel about their experience.

Danielle has coined the term “Pacify is the uber of doulas.” When her purple app lights up, she knows she’s about to connect with someone and can share information about birth. It provides an extra layer of protection for people not feel alone and helps them find their voice. The convenience of the app for doulas has helped her work/life balance. She is generally up with her newborn at night and has created a life for her family that allows her to support both in-person and virtually while being present at home.

153 | The Other Side- Zoerina Ledwidge

In collaboration with Pacify Health, this month’s episodes will focus on the doulas. You’ll hear conversations with four Pacify Doulas, getting a chance to reflect on “ The Other Side” of birth. Today we meet Zoerina Ledwidge.

A college assignment captured Zoerina’s attention; it was a report on the maternal mortality rates in the DC area. She took into account the disproportionate findings regarding Black women. The report introduced her to the positive impact of doula support for birth. Zoerina discovered Mamatoto Village, where she was introduced to holistic perinatal care. After training there and attending births; she was instantly hooked. They offered opportunities to shadow experienced doulas at births and that helped build her confidence.

Zoerina balances the new ways of in-person and virtual support while anchoring in a holistic approach to birth. Initially, virtual support was tricky in developing a voice that was not in the birthing room with her first virtual client. There were lapses in communication now she feels like she has been able to get the kinks out. Letting go of her own expectations and allowing her presence alone to be the best thing she can provide for her clients. She helps her clients develop birth wishes instead of birth plans to ease their minds about what they want to happen; allowing them to surrender into the process.

Pacify’s virtual doula app has supported Zoerina’s passion for finding new ways to serve the black community. Because Pacify is available to all people with Medicaid in select states, it provides accessible care for Black people who may not be able to take on the expense. Over 50% of the doulas on the network are Black; culturally affirming and sensitive care is critical. This platform allows Zoerina and other doulas to answer questions that may not be addressed during prenatal visits regarding common discomforts and concerns. Many topics can be addressed during the doula calls; the importance of prenatal care, finding a doctor or midwife they trust, explaining the process of labor and birth, pain management and coping skills, bodily changes, and stress management are just a few.

A few takeaways from Zoerina - get a doula, there is a doula for everyone, and seek lactation support for infant feeding. Lactation consultants support formula feeding and breast/chestfeeding. Pacify offers both!

152 | The Other Side - Yasmin Baskin

Yasmin had a natural inclination to work with babies at an early age. She thought she would be a gynecologist or pediatrician; the pain of seeing sick children shifted her career plans. She became a teacher instead, and her love for being an educator was helpful when choosing birth work. After training in birth and postpartum work, she included lactation and even explored a path to midwifery.

Working with Pacify has amplified the educational component of her doula experience. She can work with families through the app and can address prenatal questions and concerns. The ability to touch more lives via lactation and doula support through this medium blows her mind. It is not lost on her when she greets a Black or Brown parent who is excited to see someone who looks like them. Acknowledging parents that call Pacify that are Black and using doula support and breastfeeding resources is important to her.

When women have a baby, it may be the only time in their lives that people offer unsolicited help. Yasmin encourages new parents to ask about their family traditions surrounding birth and postpartum and for help with unexpected needs. Many cultures report healing practices about maintaining warmth in the birth giver's body and staying home in the first 40 days after birth. These traditions are major keys to Yasmin’s postpartum practice; she shares them with virtual and in-person clients.

Her doula journey continues to unfold; Yasmin is grateful to add her time with Pacify as priceless work. She feels supported by the team and valued as they provide a consumer-driven service and a space for doulas to make a difference for new parents and for their work to be deemed necessary.

151 | The Other Side - Lare Ngofa

In collaboration with Pacify Health, this month’s episodes will focus on the doulas. You’ll hear conversations with four Pacify Doulas, getting a chance to reflect on “ The Other Side” of birth. Today we meet Lare Ngofa.

Free-Spirited, science-loving Lare is a birth and postpartum doula who entered the birth worker world when she caught her baby cousin at age 16. She deepened her knowledge of holistic pregnancy care through education and family conversations, but she waited to move forward in the work as she wanted to explore other avenues.

While working through her career choices, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Lare shifted gears to care for her and her autistic brothers. Unfortunately, treatment would not heal Lare’s mother as she passed away after a brief hospice stay. Lare refocused her intentions on what family and work would look like; as she managed the waves of grief. Lare finally trained as a doula with the support of her cousin and has developed a practice that features intuitive and holistic care in the Los Angeles area.

Supporting families in-person and virtually allows Lare and other birth workers to be accessible to families who want their services. Doulas spend a lot of time educating families on their options and encouraging them to give birth without fear. Lare found that her clients teach her new techniques and advice as well. One client taught her the value of a focal point in the birthing space and reminded her that she told her, ”Surrender or be dragged; surrender to this process or be dragged through it.” The connection between doulas, birth givers, and new parents can vary based on personalities and individual needs. This unique relationship helps build trust and confidence for birth and the subsequent parenting journey. Doulas can only take credit for the role required of them and how they show up in sacred spaces.

Choosing to connect and open up about our experiences and concerns about pregnancy and birth is developed by taking the first step of reaching out to a known resource. Every call will not be a deep and emotional conversation, but every call is a human connection. Working with Pacify has added value to Lare’s doula practice; she is now accessible to people who may not be within her reach financially or geographically.

150 | Celebration of Life - Shawnise Chantell

This is a story about loss and rebirth; specifically what the Medical Industrial Complex deems a “near miss.” A maternal near miss occurs when someone nearly died but survived a complication that occurred during pregnancy, childbirth, or within 42 days of termination of pregnancy.

Consider where your mind, body, and spirit are sitting during the time you read and listen to this story.

Shawnise embarked on her third pregnancy with intentional care for herself and growing her family one last time. She managed her health and nutrition while raising her other daughters without complications in her pregnancy. A mother's quiet preparation had carried her through to term.

She planned a tubal ligation after the birth upon deciding that her family was complete. Shawnise understood that the procedure was simple and harmless, that would not be the case for Shawnise. Soon after delivering her daughter, she was rushed into the operating room for her procedure, not allowing time for skin-to-skin or initiating lactation. Post-surgery, she showed signs of severe illness over the next few days. The family immediately advocated for her care and informed her care providers that something was wrong and that she may be showing signs of infection. The response was not immediate and was dismissive at first. Her family pushed harder for emergent care; exploratory surgery began that night. Shawnise would spend two months in the hospital after being diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, Renal Failure, Perforated Bowel, Double Pneumonia, and Upper Respiratory Failure. Shawnise’s thoughts started to echo that she would not survive. Shawnise flatlined on the day before her expected discharge from the hospital. Her sister returned to the hospital and showed up in her scrubs from her job. She was mistaken for a staff member as they interacted with her in the room. Only discovering later that she was Shawnise’s sister after she passed out seeing her lifeless sister on the bed. Twenty minutes passed as Shawnise experienced a spiritual awakening in what she calls the Afterlife. She describes feeling the love and grace of God before being sent back home.

Trauma has a way of stealing joy from beautiful moments in our lives. You would never know that Baby Kensie’s birth was peaceful. It was perfectly normal. The pregnancy was beautiful. The family was strong then and even stronger today. Addressing her mental health has brought her to the point of sharing her story of triumph. Shawnise wakes up every day and can care for her children. Love helps her move forward and not look back.

Hospital Birth, Loss, PostpartumLaurel GourrierSeptember 22, 2022Tubal Ligation, Birth Advocacy, Postpartum SupportComment

149 | Love is in the Details ~ Oona-Ife & Anthony Olaiya Wright

Oona-Ife and Anthony were hosting friends at their home when they decided she should take a pregnancy test. She took the test because she had spent the night throwing up after a night of eating steak and butter pecan ice cream. They learned they were expecting a baby, and the news brought so much joy that they had to stifle their excitement from their guests. Anthony even snuck out of the house to shed a few tears as their lives were about to change in this season of expansion.

Despite a rocky start, Oona felt an abundance of self-love and support from her village, which left her with positive reflections regarding her pregnancy. Anthony made space during their journey to learn about what to expect during childbirth and was able to connect with other new and expectant fathers for support. He was intentional about his presence for prenatal visits and building relationships with their care providers.

Labor would gradually commence after a violent bout of nausea and vomiting one evening. Oona-Ife and Anthony would fumble around trying out some tried and true labor strategies that would end in a good laugh and an A for effort. Because they were having a homebirth they were in close contact with their doula and midwifery team about changes in contraction patterns, behaviors, and any concerns they had. As things picked up, their doula would arrive first to assess the scene and encourage them to call the midwife to the house. Laboring and birthing at home proved to be their best decision as it fostered comfort and ease that kept them calm. Despite some hiccups with their tub and a moment of familiar panic for those who needed to relocate during the transition, Oona-Ife would deliver their daughter safely in the water.

The midwives and doula would leave them to bond and care for their new baby and themselves. They would receive a caravan of support with family members arriving at different intervals to visit and provide care over the first month postpartum. Just as they started to get a rhythm at about eight days postpartum Oona-Ife would have severe headaches; she grew concerned regarding her own health. She would eventually go to the hospital for care after connecting with her midwife as her blood pressure elevated to dangerous levels. She would be diagnosed with Postpartum Preeclampsia and Covid-19. Thankfully, she centered her care and was able to heal with continued support from her family and providers.

148 | A Midwife’s Unplanned Homebirth - Gianna Fay

Gianna and Evan have welcomed three children into the world. The words joy, blessing, and purpose have marked each pregnancy and birth. They learned that they would be having a girl after the birth of two sons. Their daughter's birth would make her the first girl born on Evan's side of the family in over 100 years.

At 38 weeks and six days, Gianna would go into labor while preparing for the Super Bowl party they were hosting. She managed her surges and dismissed them as Braxton Hicks contractions increasing because she had been busy that day. After putting the kids to bed, she realized that she could be in active labor. In her solitude, she drifted into "laborland." Evan joined her and started timing her surges, they began to get ready to leave, and her water broke. The surges intensified as they waited for her cousin to arrive to be with the children. A few strong surges would pass, and they would notice meconium in the leaking fluid. Her midwife brain would click and shift her focus and alarm Evan.

The pressure would set in, and she had to determine if they would stay home or go. Baby Chloe decided for them and arrived with additional support for Evan from the 911 dispatcher. They knew they would still want to go to the hospital, as it was the original plan. The baby was fine and vocal as they awaited their transport to the hospital. The EMTs arrived and helped them get situated for the ride; the energy shifted as they thought they were coming to intervene in complicated home birth. She informed them that she was a midwife. Once they arrived at the hospital, Gianna would be in midwife mode and ready to be checked over and welcomed into L&D. Everyone was doing well except for a tear that would help her come back to her body and feel pain.

Postpartum planning happened prenatally, and that was helpful for the whole family. Evan and Gianna worked through a plan and garnered the support they needed. They were intentional about getting what they needed most, including paying for a Mom's helper, nutritional meals from a meal planning company, and in-home support from the women in their family. Communication every few weeks as they determined what they needed at each stage was a key to maintaining their sanity with three young children. Although they had a great birth and supportive care, postpartum anxiety became evident through symptoms like irritability. She connected with her therapist and is still navigating those waters with grace.

147 | On their Terms - MyLin & Lindsay Stokes Kennedy

MyLin and Lindsay started their lives together after marriage with the hopes of expansion. When they decided to have more children, they were not fully aware of the obstacles they would encounter. The sticker shock regarding Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) expense steered them towards traditional or old-school insemination with a known donor. Patience over almost two years and a devastating anembryonic pregnancy would lead them to the full-term pregnancy and consequent birth of their first child together.

Lindsay chose to carry the baby, and they managed their insemination personally with advice from a fertility specialist. The fertility specialist validated their concerns and guided them through the most straightforward ways to help them. Despite having PCOS, she could make adjustments in their fertility journey and conceive. Her pregnancy was amazing, and there were no issues until the end of the pregnancy. She presented with itchy hands and feet, which was one indicator of Cholestasis. Cholestasis can affect the liver and can be dangerous for mom and baby. An induction was ordered at 37 weeks to avoid complications to their health and after two days of labor, Lennox would join the family. Shortly afterward, Lindsay developed preeclampsia and would need additional monitoring.

Postpartum for Lindsay included healing and challenges with breastfeeding. Thankfully, MyLin had started the induced lactating process prenatally with the hopes of sharing the work of feeding the baby. She was able to nourish the baby while Lindsay worked through latching issues with Baby Lennox.

MyLin’s pregnancy required more preparation as she wanted to deliver at home. They were able to have all of the birth-related services to make her dream homebirth come true with the generous support of the Victoria Project, a nonprofit organization serving Southern California. The Victoria Project provided full financial support for a midwife (not the deposit), chiropractor, pelvic floor therapy, hypnobirthing, and childbirth education.

MyLin labored with her family and doula as they awaited the intensity of active labor. Lindsay busied herself preparing the tub for her but found her work was futile. MyLin found herself in “labor land” and talked her baby out as he quickly slipped out. The midwife would arrive later and attend to the newly expanded family. She had four postpartum midwifery visits and was able to spend a lot of time in bed, healing physically and mentally.

Finding the right avenues to expand their family was pivotal in their birthing experiences. MyLin and Lindsay share their knowledge with other same-sex couples to make themselves an accessible resource. Patience, grace, and softness are essential aspects of their continued parenting journey.

146 | Outward Growth from Within - Michah Thomas

Michah met pregnancy with sickness in the form of a heavy dose of Hyperemesis Gravidarum, also known as HG. It is a condition that presents in pregnancy as severe and persistent nausea and vomiting caused by hormone fluctuations. HG caused Michah to experience weight loss, food aversions, and anxiety about her baby's growth. She found comfort in the power of watermelon and OTC nutrition shakes.

Despite her challenges, she moved forward with planning a homebirth with her partner. The midwife they chose was informative and supportive, helping ease any concerns. Everything was going as planned until the baby started measuring smaller than expected. She started having routine growth scans until her provider discovered an amniotic fluid leak.

An amnioinfusion can treat an amniotic fluid leak. Unfortunately, this was not the case for Michah. She reported to her local hospital, where she would receive excellent care during her induction and subsequent labor. Michah delivered her baby with the help of forceps due to heart decelerations at the pushing stage to avoid a surgical birth. Her baby was sunnyside up, challenging her descent into the birth canal.

Physical recovery from the forceps assisted birth added to her healing process, but she was supported by her partner. Michah has connected with herself on different levels as postpartum has taught her grace and patience. Her work has been affected as it has become the focus of her Master's degree program. Building supportive relationships and honoring boundaries to grow as human beings and build healthy, strong families, they manage life on the other side of birth. Stepping in to support each other without local family support has been challenging, but again grace is sufficient, and Michah is slowly coming back to herself.

Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierMay 12, 2022Hyperemesis, Induction, Amniotic Fluid Leak, Forceps DeliveryComment

145 | Fear & Triumph - Ashlee Grant

Fear and triumph are two words that Ashlee Grant uses to describe her collective birthing experiences. She would navigate the uneasiness of a first pregnancy after miscarriage culminating in a surgical birth of her and her husband's choosing, solidifying their bond as partners. She found the still, small voice that strengthened their resolve.

Ashlee entered the second pregnancy as a new version of herself. She had found her voice after coming to grips with previous trauma and made space to process the layers of her first birth. A deepened knowledge of her body and spirit's needs deepened as her second son grew. She would again seek the support of her sister-in-law as her doula; this time, they had both grown and prepared to bring Ashlee's vision to life. Her doula was now working with ROOTT and had added more perinatal education to her skillset. Complications with the pandemic's beginning presented uncertainty as Ashlee and her husband, Jerod, considered how they would manage if their doula were not present. Thankfully labor would ensue before the hospital's temporary ban on doulas would start.

Ashlee labored at home with her family and doula as planned. The atmosphere was peaceful and undisturbed. They would leave for the hospital when the contractions (surges) were three minutes apart. She arrived in triage and consented to a cervical check that revealed she was 4cm dilated. Instantly defeated and whisked back to the same progression of her first labor Ashlee could feel a shift in her demeanor. Her doula quickly reminded her that it wasn't the same, her body was doing the work, and she would birth the way she wanted to this time. The redirection allowed her to connect to the present and continue balancing movement and rest in the labor room. She had the birth she wanted, delivering a healthy second son, this time without the epidural and minimal interventions.

Today, Ashlee encourages women to find their voices, seek support, and be their own best advocates. She is the host of her own self-coined "preachcast," Planted, where she speaks to the heart of women and opens their eyes to their unique gifting.

COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierMay 5, 2022ROOTT Doulas, COVID-19, Black Families MatterComment

144 | Letting Go of Expectations - Danielle Henderson & Shandell Rosa

Visualization is a powerful tool, especially for preparing for labor; it can turn our hopes into expectations. Much was the case for Danielle Henderson as she and her husband, Jeff, began preparing for a home birth for their first child.

Danielle created the environment she had envisioned by having calming music and lighting during her labor. The midwife arrived and was deeply committed to being present and supporting Danielle. She even had the support of her mother and sister as planned. Delivery drew out longer than they thought, and there was a family history of short or precipitous labors. However, a tilted uterus would make her work feel more intense and give the feeling that she had progressed. Her mother and sister would eventually leave as time went on. During labor, Danielle found herself coming out of her calmness and felt that hindered her progression. The next day Shandell returned to the porch awaiting the baby’s arrival. Little did she know that she would be entering the birth space. Jeff would ask her to come into the home and support the team. Shandell recalls knowing how vulnerable her sister would feel, and she cautiously stepped in and avoided looking at her to help her maintain her mindset and not face her disappointment. In a word, she held a boundary for her sister while also holding space. Despite having a nuchal arm and double wrapped umbilical cord impeding his descent, Baby Jackson would make a healthy entrance earthside in his parents’ bed.

After her birth, Danielle could feel herself detaching from the experience as she would continue to live where she had delivered her baby. Connecting memories with spaces were hard on her mentally. The newness of motherhood was an adjustment, with full support from her family, and her husband has helped with the adjustment of new motherhood.

COVID-19, Home Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierApril 28, 2022Hypnobirth, Home Birth Family, Village Support, Partner Support, Long LaborComment

143 | The Journey, the Pain , the Promise - Brittany Turner

Before meeting her partner Tony, Brittany Turner didn't think it would be possible for her to have children. After suffering three miscarriages, she had been on a journey to understand the cause of her losses. There is undergoing bloodwork, genetic testing, and numerous ultrasounds, with no definite answer. So when she and Tony decided they were ready to expand their family together, they were pleasantly surprised when she became pregnant. But having both experienced the loss of children, they both were carrying an immense amount of anxiety, at times causing tension between them.

At 34 weeks pregnant - the longest pregnancy she had carried, Brittany noticed that her Braxton Hicks contractions were coming quite frequently. There was an uneasiness that something wasn't right that she was holding. Brittany decided that she would sit with the feeling throughout the night and see how she felt in the morning. But in the morning, the contractions and feelings were still there, accompanied by a small amount of bleeding. Sharing this with Tony, they both decided going in for monitoring would be best.

They did not expect that monitoring would shift to the need for an emergency surgical birth. Brittany reflected that nurses began rushing into her room without warning, explaining to her that due to her son's heart rate dropping, they were going to need to take her to the operating room (OR). Having to be entirely under anesthesia, the last thing Brittany remembers is saying a prayer to God to keep her and her son safe. She awoke, wondering what had happened and where her baby was. And when she was reunited with Tony, he placed their son on her chest - her son placed his little hand on her cheek. A sign that Brittany says was her son telling her that her prayers were answered, and they were ok.

142 | Lessons Learned - Vienna Fernandez

When pregnant with her first child, there was a sense of loneliness. She and her husband lived in a space that wasn't close to family, and working in the city meant a long commute for them—a distraction from being able to be present during her pregnancy. Vienna expressed that it wasn't something she was truly prepared for when reflecting on her birth prep. She knew she wanted to have an unmedicated birth, but when her water broke, and she arrived at the hospital, 4cm dilated, she realized there was much more to the experience than she knew about.

She felt like her care providers weren't communicating well with her throughout her labor about the shifts happening and the interventions provided. As her son was having trouble descending during the pushing phase, her doctor proceeded with an episiotomy and vacuum support - an end to an experience that felt rushed to Vienna and left her confused.

Vienna would hold this memory close when she became pregnant with her second child. From her son's birth, she knew that she hadn't got the support she needed and couldn't trust her care providers to provide the education and advocacy she wanted or deserved. With revelation would be tough as, during her 30-week appointment, they discovered her daughter was measuring small, and close monitoring was needed. Vienna fell into a space of self-doubt and fear and didn't know who to lean to for support. Again wanting an unmedicated birth and knowing somewhat what to expect, she asked all the questions during her birth. And was very vocal about what her body needed. While her daughter came into this world weighing less than 6 pounds, Vienna felt that her voice had been louder and heard in this experience.

Her third birth was the culmination of everything she had taken from her first two births. Navigating changes brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic and the unexpectedness of being pregnant, Vienna hired a doula to help support her. With this birth and pregnancy, she was able to be much more in tune with her body and how this birth would look and feel. Each one of her births had been a deep lesson. Not only in how she wanted her births to be but ultimately how she wants to show us as a mother and for herself.

Hospital Birth, COVID-19, PostpartumLaurel GourrierApril 8, 2022Birth Trauma, Healing, Birth Preparation, Postpartum SupportComment

141 | Forged in the Storm - Letitia & Brandon Gordon

Letitia and Brandon Gordon discovered they were expecting their second child when she was in nursing school. She found herself in a season of busyness and wanted to complete as much schoolwork as possible while managing her own business and their family.

Much to their surprise, Letitia started noticing signs of labor when she was 28 weeks gestation. After informing her doctor of her concerns, her provider assured her that it was not labor and shouldn’t be concerned. Her doctor was dismissive; that’s a common issue when we talk to Black women who have had complications in their pregnancies and labor. Unfortunately, Letitia was right; she was in labor and would report to the hospital the next day. Fear and panic kicked in, and her husband was a steady source of comfort and grounding as they prepared to welcome their second son unexpectedly early.

Letitia’s birth experience altered her career path, as she planned to be a psychiatric nurse. She’s now a labor and delivery nurse, trained birth doula, and a midwifery student. She brings hope, comfort, and support to expectant families with her own lives experiences and skills.

Letitia opened up about a new battle, breast cancer, during our interview. She is undergoing treatment and maintaining her family and professional responsibilities. Many of you know the toll that cancer treatment can take on a family and their finances. We have an ask - if you feel moved to support Letitia and her family, please listen to her birth story, and donate to her GoFundMe account.

140 | Reclamation - Jennifer Walton

“It’s not the baby. It’s you.” These are the words that Jennifer Walton would hear from her medical provider as he determined with a quick cervical check that she would need to deliver her baby via surgical birth. In fact, he later told her that she would never be able to deliver vaginally because a baby couldn’t fit through her pelvis. Jennifer didn’t want a c-section and made that clear to her provider. But the cascade of interventions and the lack of informed consent would send them into a spiral that left little room to catch up mentally to what was about to happen to Jennifer physically. There had been no complications or concerns, but a lull in labor would drastically alter Jennifer and her husband, Sean’s plans. Their first baby would be born healthy and strong, but the surgical birth trauma would linger into their postpartum world.

The Walton’s welcomed their second pregnancy with a young toddler to care for. Jennifer was determined that this birth would be different. The first pregnancy had been easy, and they had the rug pulled from under them in the twilight hours of labor. Jennifer was different; she had been fire tested and was prepared to put in the work to change the narrative that had been created about her body. The weight of her previous provider’s words was pressed into her psyche. She knew that she wanted a VBAC and stacked the deck to support her goal. Jennifer selected a new OB/GYN; she was a Black woman and made her feel supported and heard. Her friend introduced her to the term doula, and where she could find one, She connected with her perinatal support doula, Jessica Roach, at Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. The heart of their work is the commitment and rigorous training of their perinatal support doulas. Jessica educated her about her rights as a patient, guided her family through a healthy pregnancy, and helped strengthen their resolve for Jennifer to deliver their baby vaginally.

The fear of a uterine rupture would still linger in her mind, but with the support of her birth team, she moved forward with planning her VBAC. Jennifer recalled Jessica’s words in the midst of laboring at home, “Stop fighting your body and let this thing happen.” She did stop fighting her body. She let go of the defeating messages from her first pregnancy, surrendered to the process, and found her voice and strength. She gave birth to another healthy and strong daughter, accomplishing her VBAC.

139 | Birth Beyond the Status Quo - Ashlee Johnson

Ashlee Johnson's passion for birthwork grew from her first pregnancy and childbirth. She would bring forth life three times with a dedicated birth team. She welcomed being pregnant and can recall the first pregnancy as an enjoyable time despite hearing so many negative stories that people felt compelled to share with her. It would be a chance encounter, during her first pregnancy, with one woman that listened to her birth preferences and encouraged her to go for it. She let that affirmation set within her and committed to honoring her own plans.

This foundation would serve her throughout the births of her other two children. Ashlee and her husband prepared by attending birth classes and feeling fully supported in a birth center and homebirth care. She describes her births as amazing because she felt educated, had a positive attitude, and had a birth team that met her expectations. In the early postpartum days, breastfeeding was challenging due to latch issues. Yet, Having set up a solid support system, she overcame the learning curves, focused on her healing, and addressed her postpartum depression. For Ashlee, preparation is vital, expressing that no matter if birth plans shift, if you've prepared, you're in a better position to steer things your way.

138 | A Journey of Unwavering Submission - Ashley & Adrian Cleckley

During a global pandemic, Ashley and Adrian would welcome their first child while living in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). The safety and travel restrictions limited their access to their family, causing Ashley to feel immediately dependent on her doctor. Despite being inclined to more natural resources for medical support, she felt that pregnancy made her want to stick to what the doctor said they needed. Ashley started to shift back to her first thoughts about her health, rooted in natural medicine. An unmedicated birth would be explored to match their personal preferences. She and Adrian weren't sure if a natural birth could be possible, as they didn't know if they could or if Ashley could endure it. After careful consideration, they hired a doula hoping to have support with their birth plan. Cesarean birth, epidurals, and a fear of dying in childbirth were the only knowledge Ashley started with as she and her husband started their first pregnancy. Their doula educated them about pregnancy and childbirth, which helped dismantle her fears and feel more empowered. The quest for knowledge began, and when Ashley shared mind shifts with her doctor, there was also a shift in the doctor's countenance toward's their birth plan. The doctor was dismissive and resistant to her preferences and started fear-mongering tactics to alter their plans. Adrian shared that he felt angry during the doctor's appointment because they had intentionally researched and devised their birth plan. He settled himself, and he felt his family was losing control of the situation. The birth team had to change, and it did change; they found a new doctor and hospital that could meet their needs.

Pregnancy became more challenging as their household tested positive for Covid-19 at 37 weeks gestation. A new fear presented itself, as she prayed the baby would not come while she was feeling sick and too tired to care for a newborn. Thankfully Adrian was asymptomatic and could complete the baby preparation tasks, and Ashley would feel better when she went into labor. Another issue did arise as her doctor attended to a family emergency, and they didn't know if she would make it back for the delivery.

When labor day arrived, Ashley tuned in with herself and listened to her body as they managed the day. Nesting set in, and Ashley emailed her birth plan to the hospital as early labor began. She prepared her hair for delivery, as Black women do in preparation for a new baby. She labored at home with the support of Adrian and her doula throughout the next 23 hours. They decided to check in at the hospital and soon discovered that everyone on her service had a copy of her birth plan. Ashley would explore her options for comfort measurements with her supportive birth team. The labor had drawn out so long that exhaustion shifted her mindset, and Adrian hit his daddy doula stride to help her overcome. He stepped out in the hallway to talk to the nurse to support the plan. Ashley found herself in a meditative state as she wrestled with the tiredness of her body and the intensity of labor. She would grapple with decisions that were altering her birth experience that didn't reflect her true wishes. Calmness came from sinking within and tapping into God as a source that allowed her to go through it. She began pushing without prompting or permission. Ashley allowed her body to lead and deliver her son into the world after 32 hours of labor. She was amazed by her strength and the process of childbirth.

137 | Birthing Joyfully Through the Unexpected - Beatriz Gutierrez

A seemingly normal pregnancy was quickly unraveled when Beatriz received the news that she had preeclampsia. She had been managing a plan to birth at home with a hospital-based midwife to support any medical challenges and a homebirth midwife to support the birthing space she wanted. At the top of the list item was a midwife that spoke Spanish, as her husband is a monolingual Spanish speaker. Unfortunately, her blood pressure (BP) readings at 36 weeks with the homebirth midwife were too high, causing her to refer Beatriz to the hospital for care. She would no longer be eligible for a homebirth after it was confirmed that protein was present in her urine. Not only did her plan fall apart, but she no longer felt she would have the safety of her home because she was scheduled for an induction at 37 weeks. The homebirth midwife accompanied her and her husband for the induction, and she helped her manage the interventions. She didn't know how much she would need to self-advocate, but things took a turn as her care provider didn't align with her preferences.

The messaging Beatriz had received from people in her circle had focused on a healthy baby arriving safely. Beatriz wanted to uphold the same priority level to how her baby would arrive safely. She went home for a couple of days by signing an AMA (Against Medical Advisement) form. Beatriz saw herself heading towards a surgical birth, and she pushed pause on the induction.

During this time Beatriz leaned into her own source as she communicated with her homebirth midwife monitoring her own BP and baby's heart rate at home. When she noticed a rise in her BP, she reported back to the hospital and started the induction over. The conversation of breaking her water came up again, but she refused and stated that she would wait for the next nurse on shift to check her cervix. The new midwife told her that the baby was too high and it would be dangerous to break her waters. Beatriz felt defeated as labor progressed slowly, even flirting with a cesarean just for it to end. But she had the love and support of her husband and sister and would eventually push her daughter out safely. She was no longer having to fight because she accomplished her goal while maintaining herself and the newborn child's health. She was able to have a hospital birth, but on her terms, at her pace, with a birth team that supported her fully. Most of her birth and postpartum team were Latina women who heard her and answered the call.

136 | Receiving Energy from Water - Adenike & Brandi

Their pregnancy journey involved five tries with Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). After two unsuccessful attempts at home, they decided to get support at a specialized clinic. They had a Nigerian nurse practitioner during the first two tries at the clinic (Adenike is of Nigerian and Haitian descent). Still, it would be the fifth try to become pregnant ultimately.

For Adenike, the pregnancy itself would be pretty "straightforward" the most challenging part was managing her Sickle Cell Anemia. Individuals with this diagnosis can have low birth weight babies due to the birthing person cells being shaped differently and how their body carries oxygen. For Adenike, this meant the need to get red blood cell exchanges completed once a month. Due to Covid, she was attending these appointments alone, spending four to five hours getting blood pumped in and out of her body. While a tasking endeavor, Adenike expressed that care providers like to tell you what you can do with your body in terms of Sickle Cell care. That was not the route that she and Brandi wanted for her pregnancy and birth. They leaned into the research they had done and the support of their doula to ensure every step of the way, Adenike was able to support her body in the way she understood her needs.

Adenike's pregnancy was considered high risk due to her Sickle Cell diagnosis paired with other health concerns. Taking that into account, her maternal-fetal medicine (MFM) doctor (also Nigerian) discussed with Adenike and Brandi that it might be safest to have an induction at 38 weeks. As the time came around, they could push this time frame back as her body and baby were managing well. After their appointment and returning home, Adneike and Brandi settled into their nightly routine, with Brandi taking their dogs on a walk. As she stepped out, she noticed a drizzle of rain, along with a woman she hadn't seen before sitting about 20 ft away. Brandi shares in a greeting with her, and the lady exclaims, "You know it's raining outside!" throwing Brandi off a bit as it wasn't raining that hard. Continuing on her walk, she was baffled when she saw the lady get up and begin walking away into the distance with no known end. Returning home, she shared this interaction with Brandi, but they both shrugged it off as they went to bed, but soon after, Adenike felt a sudden sharp pain and gush from her waters breaking.

Labor would take its time, the rain increasing into a torrential downpour as they made their way to the hospital. As they moved through their birth, some shifts were required from their birth plan, along with hard discussions and push back from their care team. Through it all, Adenike stayed in tune with her needs, and when she was ready to push, she followed her intuition, bringing her daughter hearthside as the rain came pouring down a reminder they were covered and held.

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