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94 | A Revelation of Unexpected Options - Jocelyne Zaldivar

Jocelyne, a homebirth parent, and co-creator of Homebirth.com, shared her story and the origins of those unexpected titles. Jocelyne and her partner had been planning their wedding when they discovered they were expecting. They made a pivot and married ahead of schedule. The next obstacle was finding alignment with a provider that would honor their wishes became the most challenging aspect of the pregnancy. They switched providers from an OB/GYN to a birth center with midwifery care. The stars seemed to align, but an unexpected closing once again thwarted their plans. Three months before her expected due date, the birthing center she and her husband had planned to welcome their baby closed. Homebirth became an option that was strange to them and required a mental adjustment to help keep them out of the hospital. Hospital birth felt like pregnancy was a medical issue, and that didn’t match their thought process unless a medical challenge presented during the birth. They quickly researched their options and connected with midwives they trusted. Their family was able to prepare for and have the birth they envisioned in their own home.

Homebirth.com was created in their response to wanting to share the beauty and joy of their homebirth story. Homebirth.com holds space for story sharing and helps others who wish to Homebirth find the birth teams that can help meet their birthing goals.

Home Birth, Community HighlightsLaurel GourrierMarch 18, 2021Home Birth Family, Unplanned Homebirth, Midwifery CareComment

93 | Rooted in the Body & the Home - Courtney Stallworth

Being a maternity nurse, Courtney knew the lack of focus on preparing for the fourth trimester. For her, a vital part of preparation when pregnant was anchoring into how she would support her healing and bonding during that time. This encompassed building a full birth team - a midwife aligned with her vision, a lactation consultant, a pelvic floor therapist, and ensuring her husband was empowered as well.

When early labor began at 38 weeks for Courtney's first birth, she spent most of that time in the sense of denial. As she moved about her day, her body and baby showed signs that his arrival would be soon. It took encouragement from her husband and midwife to help shift her mindset that the time had come. As she was having a homebirth, Courtney moved about her home and different positions to help with progression. It was a pivotal moment for her to feel her son engage in her pelvis, prompting her to have her husband get her birth pool ready and have her midwife join them. Being able to lean into her husband for support and having space to trust her body entirely, they welcomed their son soon after.

When she found herself experiencing the signs of labor again 16 months after her son's birth, the sense of familiarity with her body's response was strong. This progression was much faster, a surprise to Courtney, when she began pushing her "body, grabbed onto the energy," and her daughter began making her way.

89 | Bringing Birth Back Home - Najla Muhammad Jaaber

Najla Muhammad joins us to share her controversial birth story set in a foreign land with laws in place that didn’t fit her birth vision. She had experienced birth in a hospital with her previous pregnancies but always wanted to birth at home. Now she decided to not only birth at home but that she also wanted to have an unassisted birth. She and her husband were in agreement with each other and sought to create a space in their home to fit that choice. They were living abroad in Egypt, where home births are considered illegal. They explored the option of having some prenatal care and the possibility of a midwife and doula attending as a precaution.

Najla was moved to stick to her convictions and honor her knowledge, intuition, and spiritual direction. Her birth unfolded and revealed more of who she knew she was. Najla continues to honor this practice of self-direction in pregnancy and birth through Maryam’s Womb - providing holistic birth support and womb health education for women and teens.

Home Birth, Hospital Birth, UnassistedLaurel GourrierFebruary 4, 2021Comment

82 | Birth: The Truth of a Miscarriage - Kia Livingston

This is a story about loss - In memory of “little pumpkin”

When Kia and her partner found out they were pregnant last April, they were ecstatic. As they settled into the first trimester, Kia began struggling with some complications that included intense nausea and early spotting. And while her OBGYN assured her that her symptoms were routine and what most birthing people experience. Kia's intuition told her something wasn't right.

When thinking about what could be wrong, the possibility of having a miscarriage didn't come up. It wasn't something that Kia had heard anyone having experienced and associated it with only begin a concern in the early part of pregnancy. So she was surprised at 14 weeks when she went into labor. Sharing her story, Kia walks us through the intimate moments of giving birth and the loss of her son at home.

Healing for Kia has been intense but centered in reminders that she was not at fault and not holding on to guilt. Staying focused on what her baby taught and brought to her life emotionally and mentally. That while she didn't get to hold him and experience him physically, she was his mother, and there was hope for her being a mother again.

Loss, Home BirthLaurel GourrierDecember 9, 2020Comment

81 | Learn How to Overcome Your Fears About Childbirth & Birth Like a Boss - Dayna Ruben

Dayna Ruben’s grandmother had nine children in the Caribbean islands, all homebirths. During her pregnancy, she thought about her a lot, and her first son was born on her birthday, where she would have been 100 years old. Dayna felt deeply connected to her ancestors and the groundwork that would lead her through her pregnancies. She incorporated hypnobirthing as a deep way to tap into her subconscious and have the births they desired. Both pregnancies were without issues and concerns.

Labor ensued slowly as she started dilating on a Monday and would have her membranes naturally rupture (water break) on Thursday. She took her time to prepare herself to leave. She followed the hypnosis scripts that she had been listening to in her sleep, which allowed her to stay calm despite when her surges (contractions) were 5 minutes apart as they left their home. Dayna arrived at 10 centimeters dilated, and her support team was ready to receive her. Unfortunately, they weren’t receptive to her requests, which was frustrating for Dayna. She delivered her baby feeling empowered and knowing she could have done it at home. Her first birth would lead her through a journey of self-discovery and influence her second birth.

Having two births grounded in calm and connection to her body, Dayna now supports other birthing persons in achieving a blissful birth experience without fear.

Hospital Birth, Home Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierDecember 3, 2020Comment

73 | Reclaiming Birth to Heal - Taylor Huntley

Community Herbalist and Doula Taylor Huntley shared her two birth experiences that inspired her work and mission. Her provider started discussing induction at 37 weeks, and Taylor found herself agreeing after some bullying. An ominous voicemail from her provider after the cancellation of her induction led Taylor to fire her provider at term. She found a midwife to continue her prenatal care and refer her to a hospital with on-call CNMs. The stars aligned as Taylor arrived at the hospital at 42 weeks and was able to have the preferred midwife catch her baby. Taylor was thankful that she hired a doula to support her pregnancy and labor as she continued to have push back about her birth plan from the nurses at the hospital.

Taylor gathered herself and all of her knowledge as she embarked on her second pregnancy. She knew what she wanted and how to get it. A Black midwife supported this pregnancy, and it was a planned homebirth. Taylor didn’t have the support from her parents regarding homebirth, but she pushed forward because it was her desire. Their concerns were based on their personal health experiences. She successfully labor at home and delivered in her home with her partner and birth team.

Taylor found healing in her homebirth experience after having challenges in her first pregnancy. Her voice was heard and honored. Taylor’s births have led her to serve in a space for Black women through birthwork.

Hospital Birth, Home BirthLaurel GourrierOctober 27, 2020Black Doulas, Village Support, Generational Healing, Black MotherhoodComment

67 | A Mother Who Meditates - Kristen Hanna

Kristen felt moved to share her birth story with BSIC as she felt it uniquely provided a space for women of color to be open and raw. Kristen became aware of her first pregnancy while traveling in Northern Africa. She managed to acquire prenatal care there, despite language barriers. Eventually, she transitioned back to the states still within the pregnancy and decided to hire a midwife for a home birth due to her late gestational age. Kristen’s view of pregnancy as being an expansive experience helped her take on the challenges of pregnancy. She maintained her regular routine and interests, which helped her later invite her new baby into their family. When her Labor Day arrived, she found herself being called to task about her own beliefs in meditation and the power of the mind.

Her daughter’s birth led her to start Blissful Birth Yoga, focusing her practice on prenatal support. She uses her personal experience and skills to support women and birthing people for the physical, mental, and emotional portions of labor. Kristen and her partner found themselves expecting another child and are preparing by letting the pregnancy flow, knowing that anything could change along the way. We look forward to part two of Kristen’s journey through motherhood after her son arrives.

Home Birth, COVID-19, PostpartumLaurel GourrierSeptember 24, 2020Meditation, Mindfulness, Prenatal Yoga, Pregnancy Meditation, Postpartum Mental HealthComment

66 | Universal Language - Heather Gallagher

In thinking about what she wanted for her birth, she wanted it to be full of choices and led by her voice. For Heather, that meant a strong birth team of doulas and midwives, having a homebirth, and following her body and baby's lead. At about 45 weeks, after a walk under the full moon, Heather's water broke, and things began moving pretty fast. After laboring for about four to five hours, Heather was pushing, yet she would be stopped suddenly by her midwife, expressing to her that they would need to head to the hospital, making it clear that this was an emergency. Her son's head was stuck behind her pelvis and would need support from forceps for his arrival.

Heather's postpartum journey has had its hills and valleys. Dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety for about three and a half to four years, a diagnosis that she didn't get until her son was two and a half - " I knew I was in it, but I didn't know what it was, I just thought this was my new normal." While also working through her mental health, she was navigating her nursing journey. Due to the forceps, her son needed cranial sacral therapy to get his jaw back in alignment, impacting his beginning of nursing. But they were able to find their rhythm until he was about five and a half. A dance they worked through continuously figuring out what worked for them. All of this is a testament to her spectrum of life, an aspect that Heather takes into her work.

Heather considers herself a full spectrum photography - documenting all facets and stages of life, from the time you enter the world, through the life you lead, and upon your transition into death. Understanding the vulnerability and trust needed for capturing these experiences with authenticity, Heather's work is "extremely inclusive, empathetic and intimate" aspects that she also takes to support families as a full spectrum doula again honoring life and death. She is hoping that with her new project within Life's a Spectrum, she can unveil new parts for people about themselves. An ability to look at the layers of their life, the emotions they have carried, where they set their boundaries and limits, but most importantly, what's their center and where they always come back to.

59 | On Babies Time - Milan Sanders

Milan's pregnancy started during her last semester of college, which was a busy season of her life. She fearfully shared her news with her mother and was surprised that her mother was supportive, and it became an opportunity for them to bond. Her mother wanted to be present every step of the way, and it was in this space that her mother held space for her to make a significant decision within motherhood.

She prepared for birth with her partner by attending a childbirth education class, which they found helpful. She set in her mind to have an unmedicated birth after learning of the potential effects on her baby. When Milan finally went into labor, she contacted Labor & Delivery when her contractions/surges were 3-1-1 (3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for an hour). The nurse didn’t believe she was in labor and told her to stay home. She waited a few hours and went to the hospital when she could no longer speak during contractions/surges. When she arrived, she had not dilated, the doctor gave her morphine without her consent and sent her home. When she arrived back home, things shifted so quickly that an unplanned home birth became imminent. Milan’s experience is not unique as some women dilate quickly, and even more common is a provider not performing a proper cervical check. She spoke up and advocated for herself but still had challenges being heard. Milan encourages women to continue to speak up for themselves.

54 | Birthing at Home - Legaci Allong

Legaci always wanted to have an unassisted home birth but had refrained from moving forward during her previous pregnancies to help her husband be more comfortable and at ease during labor and delivery. She understood his apprehension as she states, “Most women don’t know how capable they are… He didn’t yet know what I was actually capable of.” They began preparing their home by creating a checklist of items and prepared their minds by watching “free birth” videos. Legaci continued to work with a midwife for general prenatal care while making decisions that didn’t include some of the usual standard procedures or practices. She made a point to note that she didn’t recommend an unassisted homebirth for everyone as there are factors to consider regarding health, safety, and an understanding of one’s self. Knowledge of self and sharing who she was and her personal beliefs with her provider early on created space for her to follow her instincts. Legaci shared how accomplished she felt the moment her son was delivered. Her sons were able to witness her birth, their baby brother into her arms. She wants to encourage women to know how strong they are, feel safe during birth, and maintain control of what they can.

49 | Wise African Woman - Moji Yaii

Moji is originally from Benin, West Africa, with childhood and adult living experiences in the United States and Benin. Living in her family home and having knowledge of family homebirth. Moji never felt fully assimilated into the culture in Florida and due to circumstances with her then partner returned to her hometown. Moji found a new midwife and began planning for her homebirth at her family home. All would fall into place and during her birth Moji connected with her labor support, which she handpicked for specific reasons to be present. She stayed mobile and utilized her tub to relax and bring her baby earthside.

Childbirth has helped Moji know herself, trust her body, and be comfortable with who she is. This has prompted Moji to return to Benin and learn more about the mother's postpartum care from within her family’s traditions. She is actively working to decolonize birth with her Wise African Woman Retreat. The Wise African Woman Retreat offers women and their families space to study, environment to explore, and community with whom to gather, learn, play, and expand knowledge.

42 | When Home Birth Moves to Hospital - Dasia Gant

Dasia Gant was proudly serving in the military as her family was starting to grow. Dasia’s expectations of pregnancy challenged her as she was once a stellar athlete who had thought she would continue to be active and work out. But pregnancy took a toll on her body that she was not ready for, although watching herself grow was still a beautiful time for her family.

While a homebirth were her plans, shifts during her labor required a transfer to the hospital. Upon arrival, she began to feel like she was disconnecting and handing over the reins of her birth to the hospital staff. She requested an epidural to help relax her body and allow the physiologic process of birth to continue. The anesthesiologist started to insert the needle in her back, and she began to feel a hot and tingly sensation going down her back. This would go on six-eight times before her epidural was placed correctly. The experience would mark the shift in her labor that would have lasting physical and mental repercussions for Dasia. Her story is one of resilience, strength, and determination that we easily connect with those who choose to serve.

40 | Paving a New Way: Against the Grain - Codie Elaine Oliver

Codie describes her pregnancies and births as a full-circle experience. With their first child Codie and Tommy had planned to birth in a birth center, a turn of events would have them shifting to have a home birth, supported by midwife Heather Schwartz and student midwife Kim Durdin. As we know, birth plans change, and Codie went from a homebirth to a transfer to a hospital with an epidural and a c-section.

While she was ecstatic to have a healthy baby and be a mother, a thought that did linger in the back of her mind was that those who said this would be her story were right. When she found out, she was pregnant the second time, and with twins, there was a mix of excitement but also fear that she wouldn't be able to have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). From the beginning, she was intentional about her support and ultimately built an empowering birth team, with care providers who supported her in trusting and believing herself to do that.

38 & 39 | Reimagining the Village - Tayo Mbande & Toni Taylor

The saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child" - hearing Tayo and her mother share Tayo's birth experience not only affirms this but reveals it takes a village to birth a mother.

Tayo knew for her third pregnancy and birth; she was going to need to facilitate her experience with intense intention. From her previous births, birthing at a hospital was not an option, so with the support of her mother and husband, she prepared to have a family homebirth, absent of a midwife. Yet, this pregnancy was opposite from her others, and there was a point where she thought her homebirth wouldn't come to fruition. Tayo relied heavily on her mother for support throughout her earlier births. This time around, her mother pushed for Tayo and her husband to create a stronger bond they could depend on and believe in each other as a support unit.

Reimagining her village, she let herself to be fully loved and cared for, throughout the pregnancy, her birth, and at the beginning of her postpartum and still currently. Everyone showing up for her makes her show up for herself.

Tayo and Toni have a beautiful bond; they have now created a space to support and uplift the families in their community in that same sacred love. The Chicago Birth Collective is the village, a collective of birth workers, healers, and wellness practitioners serving and healing Black families across Chicago.

34 | A Restorative Journey in Motherhood and Birthwork - Divine Nicholas

Being a foundation of support rooted in the Southern Tradition of healing is etched throughout Divine's family. Her 6-week in-person and online workshop Grandma's Hands Pregnancy and Postpartum Herbs & Nutrition in the Southern Tradition is a reflection of that. It is an ethnobotany course based in the folk, historical healing traditions of the South and particularly Black Southern Midwives. A modality of healing that focused on how we feel about sickness, where do we think it comes from, and focused on healing the whole person.

Divine's support and teachings are intended to be a reminder to the community - a reminder that we have the tools for our healing. She reminds us that to hold onto those tools and traditions; we must pass these on. Sharing our stories creates a connection and lineage to do so.

23 | From the ROOTT - Jessica Roach, MPH

In honor of Black Maternal Health Week we had the opportunity to interview CEO and co-founder Jessica Roach, MPH about the mission and work of Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). ROOTT is a Black women-led reproductive justice organization dedicated to collectively restoring our well-being through self-determination, collaboration, and resources to meet the needs of women and families within communities. ROOTT was created by a collective who view the issues surrounding maternal and infant health as a consequence of structural and institutional racism.

This interview we delve deep into what taking back our reproductive choice and care can indeed look like — the work it takes to sit in our communities truth and power.

We must always go back to the root! - Jessica Roach, MPH

We are grateful for sponsors of this episode and other ROOTT activities this week. We would also like to acknowledge the Black Mamas Matter Alliance and all the Kindred Partners and collaborators for dedication to Black Mamas and families.

Community Highlights, Hospital Birth, Home BirthLaurel GourrierApril 11, 2019Doula, Reproductive JusticeComment

21 | Birth is Art - Lauren Turner

It was a great learning experience to listen as Lauren shared how her nursing journey with her daughter helped her to heal from past traumas and especially during her postpartum. In times when she was struggling she would reflect and sit in that space with her daughter using that time to anchor herself from what she was feeling. While we emphasize how nursing can be vital for our children it can also be just as pivotal for the birthing person(s).

Beyond nursing, another avenue that Lauren has used to process and heal is through her art. Inspired by the births of her close friends, she felt moved to get back to her art. Using it as a vessel of storytelling and reflection for them. Lauren has always loved art, but now she’s found a new love for her craft as she's painting black women in the way she has always wanted to paint them!

A Birth Story - Shared by a Midwife

This story matters. It exposes many stories and uncovers the truth. Unveiling a families immense courage and love. Thank you to Rasheedah and Mustafaa for their vulnerability! Thank you to Debbie Allen for sharing their journey. Thank you to Rebecca Coursey for capturing the beauty of it all.

Home Birth, Loss, Hospital BirthLaurel GourrierFebruary 12, 2019Black Birth Matters, Home Birth Transfer, Black Midwives, Rainbow BabyComment

14 | Led by Intuition - Kimberly Fayton

Two things we learned from Kimberly, there is power in your intuition and normalizing birth for older siblings! During the birth of the new baby, her children went about their regular routines but were always welcomed to join her as she labored throughout the house. We love that after the birth of her daughter, Kimberly sons, snuggled next to her on the living room couch and just observed her postpartum care and their new sister. Taking it all in, for them, this is birth, at home surrounded in love!

Home Birth, UnassistedLaurel GourrierSeptember 1, 2018Unassisted, Fast Birth, Midwife, Hypnobabies, Bradley MethodComment

12 | Birth & The Art of Mindfulness - Laurel Gourrier

Parenthood as a whole has this way of requiring you to surrender. Surrendering to the unknown, knowing though, that it's going to be a beautiful journey. When Laurel was finally able to yield she describes her son's birth as transformative for her relationship with herself mentally and physically. Many people claim birth to be a rebirth for the birthing person; her story is a reflection of that.

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© Birthstories in Color 2017

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