46 | A Healing Unmedicated Hospital Birth - Tonya Rapley
An essential intention of Tonya's life is the ability to live freely. This intention is how she prepared for her birth. Knowing she wanted her husband to have an active role in her support. They utilized the Bradley Birth method of childbirth education, as it as a focus on an unmedicated approach using partners as birthing coaches. Having financial freedom allowed her to build a birth team that matched her and her husband's vision. Tonya not only had a black OBGYN but also supported in care from her black midwife. Combining both traditional medical practices with the traditional midwifery care, provided her with the security that nothing be left unturned.
This combination of care would turn out to be exactly the right setup. When Tonya began labor, her OBGYN informed her that he was in the bay area celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday with his family. Meaning there was a strong possibility he would not be present for her birth. Even with his absence, Tonya, her husband, and midwife were able to walk into the hospital with confidence. Especially since the hospital and nurses were familiar with her midwife. Not only familiar with her presence, but in how she approached her interactions to ensure her families were thoroughly cared for. Tonya attributes her midwife's active role in assisting her in having a successful hospital birth. For her, that teamwork allowed "My birth team to advocate for me the way I would if I wasn't in such a vulnerable space.
Navigating postpartum, Tonya felt herself slipping into postpartum depression. Adjusting to the transition of what life with a baby entailed, she felt a sense of loss for the freedom that was once there before. There was also the adjustment to new sleeping schedules. Tonya and her husband quickly found that their son didn't get much sleep unless he was close to them, which affected the amount of sleep they were getting. Trying a variety of sleeping arrangments, they eventually decided to attempt co-sleeping. While a controversial decision for some, Tonya and her husband did their research, weighed the pros and cons, and created a sleeping environment that would be safe for their son. This change was effective for them - not only because they were able to sleep, but Tonya expresses that it allowed her to trust her intuition more, not parent out of fear, but parent freely in a way that made sense for her family. As black-birthing people, we are continually receiving negative messages about our births and their outcomes, especially when we choose to birth in hospitals. Tonya's birth story is a testament that we can have happy, healthy and healing births.
Tonya is the founder of two amazing platforms. My Fab Finance is a financial education platform, providing tips, tools, and resources to help people tap into financial freedom to live a life they love. Wanting to offer more leverage for her community and an extension of economic freedom, she created the Maternal Health and Education program. With this, mothers have access to resources and financial support to experience pregnancy on their terms. We encourage you to connect to either of these platforms and if felt led to donate to the Maternal Health and Education program. You can also connect with Tonya via Facebook and Instagram.
Resources:
Crimson Fig Midwifery | Racha Tahani Lawler, CPM, LM
Kindred Space LA | a hub for midwifery care, doula support, lactation consulting, education, support groups, enrichment, meditation, and movement.
Financially Preparing for a Baby | financial e-book