118 | Pivot - Lauren Jones
In reflecting on her pregnancy and birth, Lauren Jones shares that it involved longing and fear. Being someone who enjoyed knowing all the things and being as prepared as possible, the uncertainty of pregnancy was a constant juggling act. She was used to doing things a certain way, and this time required a level of letting go and immense learning she could never have prepared for. She began to understand the environmental impact around her health, working with her gestational diabetes diagnosis and tapping into the new needs of her body. All lessons that beyond the birth of her son she is still carrying with her.
Lauren was 42 weeks and two days when labor began. Ending a day of running errands, she started feeling her body "stretching," — throwing her into a routine of letting her body move from bed to the tub, to couch over and over, following the lead of her body. Using Buddhist chants to keep her breath in rhythm to the movement until she and her husband decided it was best to head into the hospital.
Lauren knew she wanted to get some rest and asked for pain medication to support her sleep efforts upon arrival. Not expecting to sleep from 6 am - 6 pm and to be awoken by her care providers that it was likely time for her to begin pushing - which was confirmed from a cervical check that she was 10cm dilated. But Lauren describes that in those moments, she felt she had lost her sense of control. During labor at home, she thought she could be present for her experience, and waking up in this state of shock; she expressed feeling "really scared" and felt like she had to submit and change her birth plans. She consented to an epidural and began pushing. After some time had gone with no change in her son's descent and with him showing signs of stress, her care providers began discussing options to help support him earthside. Taking time to think it over, Lauren and her husband decided to move forward with vacuum assistance - but before her care providers could even get it on, Lauren pushed her son out, he was placed on her chest. At that moment, she describes feeling such a sense of peace.
The sense of fear would remain, though, as she spent the first couple of days alone with her son due to her husband getting sick. Postpartum wasn't something she prepared for in her pregnancy; she felt lost and was very relieved when the village support of her mother-in-law and her sister arrived. They were able to cover her with their knowledge and love, allowing her to lean into the birth of herself as a mother.
Resources:
The Birth Box | monthly shipment of items that helps new parents
The First Forty Days | the essential art of nourishing the new mother
Motherly | a lifestyle brand redefining motherhood
Moss the Doula | trans & queer centered doula services
Lucia the Doula | queer full spectrum doula centering LGBTQAI2S+
Sponsors:
Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization
ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. ROOTT’s mission is to comprehensively restore our collective well-being through collaboration, resource allocation, research & re-empowerment, in order to meet the needs of Black parents & families. If you and your family are planning, pregnant, or in your postpartum period, please reach out to ROOTT at www.roottrj.org. Financial assistance is available. You can also connect with ROOTT at 614-398-1766 or email general-info@roottrj.org